VIOLENT DELIGHTS, aaron hotchner

the entropy of life

Juliette stays at Aaron's apartment for the two days leading up to Erin's funeral, spending that time enjoying his stress-cooking and watching Star Wars with Jack. Although there's no chance of them being called on a case, it's only because an investigation has to be conducted, and Aaron's receiving the brunt of questioning.

After dropping Jack off to Jessica, Juliette and Aaron return to her place so that she can shower and dress in a black suit she hoped she would never have to wear again. They arrive together, standing in the back of the service haunted by brutal memories of their own families.

Rossi invites the team to his mansion after saying goodbye to Erin's children, gripping that same red coin that Juliette doubts he's let go of. He caters a meal from what Juliette recognizes as his favorite authentic Italian restaurant, one she's been enjoying since the day that they met.

Under the sunset in his backyard, Morgan lightens the mood by telling a story of how great of a shot Erin was, the group dissolving into laughter.

"Um...do you guys remember that one time that she called me, but I thought that it was somebody else?" Garcia says next, bringing the younger team members to tears once again.

"Oh, that was hilarious." Morgan shakes his head.

"What did you say?" Blake asks, saving Juliette some confusion.

"I said 'Talk dirty to me'" She laughs, her face turning bright red.

When Blake's jaw drops, mouthing no, Morgan nods, "Yes, she did. That's my girl."

Their laughter dies down soon enough, and after downing the rest of her wine for confidence, Juliette speaks up. "About a year after I joined the bureau, Erin forced me to go to one of those charity balls, you know the ones?"

With the team's intrigued nods and a grip on Aaron's hand under the table, she continues. "In turn, I forced Griffin to come with me, because I was not going to suffer alone. He wanted to be there even less than me, he always hated all of the crime talk, so it was like dragging a toddler around all night."

"At one point, my unit was listening to Erin tell stories from her time in the field, and when she went to tell what had to be her tenth one, Griff rolled his eyes. Of course she saw this, and proceeded to scold him like he was her kid."

The table fills with laughter and smiles, because it's so telling of Erin's personality and boldness, as well as because that's the most personal thing Juliette's been willing to share with the team, and she did it with a smile.

x

Juliette spends one last night in Aaron's arms before life returns to casual chaos. The team, excluding Rossi, returns to working in the office the day after the funeral, but Juliette takes two days off for a trip that had been mortally postponed.

Griffin and Juliette had always lived life on their own timeline because of their demanding jobs, which meant they considered it a success if birthdays and anniversaries were celebrated within a month of the actual date.

She took this approach after his death as well, visiting him sometime in January in her only act of devoutness. She drives past the city and into the small upstate town he grew up in, grabbing a picnic blanket and a bouquet of purple flowers from her trunk before making the trek through the large family cemetery.

It's a sunny day, yet the cool winter breeze still pierces Juliette's face. She lays the bouquet in front of the headstone reading Griffin Ellis, laying on the blanket and staring up to the sky before beginning to speak.

It's tradition to tell him about her year, and reiterate how much she misses him, but this year is different. She should have expected to feel guilty, but being overcome by shame before revealing her relationship with Aaron was difficult.