I Love You, Man

Perfectly Balanced

They had lost. The snap was still ringing in their ears, and they had yet to understand the scope of just how much was gone. Steve could barely bring himself to stand from the broken ground and to leave Vision behind, had it not been for the sound of your voice on the other end of his phone; you had survived, and it felt like he wasn't deserving of the universe's favor. The rest of the survivors of Thanos' grand plan began the long and solemn walk back to a palace that no longer had a king, not knowing if they were even still welcome in the country that had faced the brunt and felt the repercussions of a battle that wasn't even their own.

"Steve," you spoke to your husband as calmly as you could, "who's left?" You wanted to know, but in the same conceit, you never wanted to know. The pain was too much already, and he had yet to speak a word.

"Nat," he began with a choked cough, "Rhodey, Banner, Thor, Okoye, and Rocket. That's all I know of here."

"Oh my god," you gasped.

"We're on our way back. I need to see you with my own eyes."

"I'm here, honey, I promise. CJ and I are okay. We're here."

"Still," Steve sighed with a heavy remorse, "I just...I-I need you. I don't know if I can do this. I'm scared to know how much worse this really is."

~~~

On the other side of the world, it was just as bad. Yes, it was bad everywhere, with half of this world gone in a snap, but for the Avengers the scope of their loss had yet to be fully known. Their family wasn't only those who stood at their side during the battle, but those who knew their lives nearly as much as they did themselves. There was only one group of people who had seen so profoundly into the light and darkness of the superhero world, and they had come to be a part of the team too.

"Come on, pick up," Sebastian hissed into his phone, "come on, come on..."

"Seb?"

"Jesus Christ, Mackie, take longer to answer, fuck!"

"I'm sorry! Things are a little crazy, if you hadn't noticed! What the fuck is happening?"

"I don't know," Seb answered shakily, looking around his apartment as if it held any answer, "but I can't reach Evans or Hemsworth and I'm freaking out, man. Have you tried anyone?"

"Lizzy called me right before you did, and she's talked to Bettany, but that's it."

Sebastian began to pace again, feeling only a hint of relief at the few names Anthony had given him, but they weren't nearly enough. After he had made sure that his own family was okay, he had moved on to this other family, and thus far, it hadn't been going well. Each unanswered ring only fed into his anxiety, and he knew the worst was happening. "Has anyone tried Downey?"

"Actually, wait..." Anthony paused, leaving the call hanging for nearly a minute of Seb's agony. "Okay, Chadwick's on Twitter trying to connect everyone, and he's talked to Pratt, Holland and Ben so far. Hold on, let me answer him quick and tell him who we've got so far...I'll try to hit up Downey too, if he'll even answer me. I'm no Evans."

"Speaking of...I'm gonna try him again, I'll just call you back in a few minutes." He closed the line with hesitation, worried that once he disconnected from his friend, he might suddenly disappear too. With a shake of his head to clear that horror away, his fingers quickly searched for Chris' number and he hurried to try to connect. "Come on, man, this isn't funny..."

~~~

Back in Wakanda, once the remaining team members had the chance to step out of their torn, filthy, and blood-stained uniforms, they gathered in one of the large meeting rooms near the throne room; they were unable to bring themselves to go in there, if anyone would even permit it after the loss of their king.

The room was filled with images from news around the world, and computers at every chair so that they could start to gather information on the lost and the survivors. You could hear Steve groan with every new picture or when another name was added to the scrolling list of presumed dead that lit his tablet. After several hours of staring at screens, even his perfect eyes were beginning to grow tired; he paused and leaned back in his chair with a stretch, taking a second to try to rub the sting from his vision before starting again. When he took a glance in your direction, his progress came to a fast halt.

"(Y/N)? You okay?"

"Um...uh, I-I don't...I don't know..." you stammered. The lump of emotions burning your throat made it hard to breathe, forcing you into wave after wave of tears and hyperventilation. "Steve...it's Chris. He's...he's on this list."

"No," he gasped, all but tearing the tablet from your hands as if you had just lied to him, "no, that can't be right." His fingers frantically swiped over the screen and tapped in commands, his eyes widening and then closing in clear pain with each new name that he recognized. The names kept coming, almost too fast for even him to read, but the pattern wasn't lost on him at all. To Steve, it was like watching his friends die in front of him all over again.

"Oh, God," he said once again, just as he had on the field, "you guys. Every one of our actors...our friends...they're gone. We're alive, and they're gone. Seb and Anthony just posted an update on Marvel's account."

"Wait," Nat jumped in and took the tablet next, "you mean that if we survived, then they didn't, but for those who died here, their counterpart survived? What the hell does that mean? Why? I don't understand."

Thor had been sitting mute for the all of the hours of work everyone around him had been doing, his posture frozen as his mind raced and berated him for his failure that day. Thanos was right, he should've gone for the head, but he was too wrapped up in his own vengeance, and he wanted to watch him suffer. His own desire to get the last word and the last satisfaction had cost far too much, and he knew of no way to make this right again. When his mind slowed just enough to pick up on the conversation around him, it sparked an understanding and a blow to his chest with the pain of yet another loss, and it was the only time his voice would be heard for the rest of that day.

"Don't you see? We're perfectly balanced now."