Chapter 9

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When I was writing this chapter I thought the song 'Miss You' by Louis Tomlinson was very Harry at this point.

December 23rd 2018

It had been a year since Harry had last seen Olivia or even spoken to her and he was in a terrible headspace due to this. He had started going out more and doing anything he could to get her out of his mind. He so desperately wanted to speak to her but being blocked he knew there was no point in trying. Their last argument had left a huge hole in Harry's life and he knew this was just due to his own stupidity. When he returned to London and was met with the boy's constant questions he snapped and walked out in the middle of filming a video, with Simon having to come out and calm him down.

"So bog, who's the girl then," Simon asked as they were getting miked up

"Her names Liv" Ethan shouted across the room "She's fit as fuck"

The boys all let out a chorus of oohs

"She's nobody. Just a mate, like I, said" Harry grumbled

"Looked pretty cosy for mates," Vikk said making eyes at Harry

"Fuck sake I don't know how many times I need to tell everyone this. We are nothing more than mates, actually know what we aren't even mates anymore, so you guys, my parents, everyone back home can stop fucking asking!" Harry shouted before leaving the space and slamming the door behind him

Harry paced around just outside the fire exit door of the building, regretting his decision to walk out with no jacket on a cold wet January day. He shivered slightly and blew into his hands, refusing to step back inside just yet, the door pushed open and Simons tall figure stepped out.

"Right. What was that then" he demanded

"What was what" Harry rolled his eyes

"Jesus man you're like a pouty child. What happened when you were home?" Simon asked

"I fucked it Si, Liv... Olivia and I, we've like had this weird on and off thing since school and back then it was complicated, we were both shy, we didn't want people knowing our business but like then she went to uni and I moved here and everything changed, we went from being best mates to barely speaking in three years. I realise now we're just too different to ever work and like I shouldn't have even bothered because we got with each other over Christmas and I was just so wrapped up in what we had I didn't think about what would happen when we went back to real life so I just panicked and I left her Christmas present on her bed but she hasn't said anything to me over it so I guess it's done for good" Harry spilt

"Bro, this is real life. You say you're different people but you still enjoyed each others company yeah?" Simon said

"Yeah" Harry muttered

"And do you care about her?" Simon asked

"Yeah, a lot," Harry sighed

"So who gives a fuck about the differences, you don't need to be a carbon copy of each other to be in a relationship. If you truly care about her and you guys have a good time together then it shouldn't matter. You've convinced yourself that because you thought you had to hide it in school you need to now, and you don't. You know we're all happy with whoever you decide to be with as long as they treat you good. C'mon, it's freezing" Simon said ushering Harry inside into the warm building.

As Harry pulled up to his parent's house he stared for a moment at the twinkling lights on the bushes before heading inside. He was greeted by his family and gave them all hugs and kisses. They had just sat down together to watch TV when Josh came stomping into the living room.

"MUM IS THERE ANY BATTERIES FOR MY CONTROLLER" he yelled

"No I think you used them all, I'll go to the shops tomorrow, I need to get the last stuff for Christmas anyway" she answered

"I'll go now. I was going to go buy beers for me and dad anyway" Harry said getting up from his chair.

Harry's mum gave him a kiss on the forehead and went to write him a note of all the things he was to get.

Inside the shop, he traipsed around glumly, hoping not to see any of his old friends. He was halfway down the list when he heard a familiar voice at the bottom of the aisle.

"Just get any, my mum won't be fussed," Olivia said picking up a bottle of £4 wine

"God Olivia" an unknown man's voice scoffed "You're 22 now, you ought to learn the difference between a good wine and a bad wine" the man had a pompous tone as he spoke down to her, Harry recognised the voice instantly.

After his talk with Simon Harry had attempted to contact Olivia even though he knew he was blocked, however, to his surprise the number dialled and rang twice before being picked up. Just as Harry was about to confess his love for Olivia and apologise for everything, the same man's voice answered.

"Olivia your phone went but it's an unknown number. Think it's a scam" he called

Harry hung up the phone instantly and didn't try again, it was clear that she had already moved on so her whole spiel was about nothing. She found herself someone new after just two weeks, and after all her talk of being left alone. Harry felt betrayed and hollow.

There was no denying that the owner of this arrogant voice was the same man that answered the phone to him at the start of the year. He didn't bother to look and just kept searching for a brand of beers his dad had asked for. He was about to leave the aisle when the man bellowed behind him.

"Olivia look there's your friend the YouTuber," he said in a sarky voice

Harry turned around on his heels and gave the pair a forced smile. Olivia looked more slender and had darker circles around her eyes that matched Harry's.

"Oh, hi Harry. Nice to see you. This is Ben" she smiled

"Yeah great to see you too Liv! Sorry to be rude but I need to jump back to mum and dads with these" he said raising the beers

"Yeah course. Are you staying there this time you're back?" she asked politely

"Nah Nah just at the flat but had to come to spend some time with them, haven't been home since summer or something" Harry quickly spoke trying to get out of the conversation as fast as possible

"Heard you had an eventful summer" Ben spoke putting a finger to the side of one nostril and sniffing causing Olivia to lightly smack him out of sight

"Yeah don't believe everything you read on Twitter mate" Harry corrected "See you Liv, nice to meet you, Ben"

Harry carried the contents of his basket to the checkout and quickly paid and exited the shop. He sat for a moment in his car not even turning the engine on, just tapping his hands against the steering wheel before getting out his phone and texting a number he never thought he would.

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