We Could Have Happened.

Chapter 33 : "rather me than you"

Don't you know that I would die for you,

if I knew that you would make it through?

'Cause losing me is better than losing you.

- Losing You : Wonho

{Levi pov}

"Hi everyone, thank you for coming to see Echo. My name is Levi Black, and I'm Echo's boyfriend."

The morning I woke up to her leaning on my shoulder, both of us snuggled on the couch, I knew that this was it. I sat still, not moving, just absorbing the moment as I looked at our intertwined hands. The sun was rising, the reflection shined from her bracelet and necklace, and the tears didn't fall, I felt numb.

I remembered my last words to her, "I fucking love you, sweetheart." And I was glad that those were my last. I wasn't drunk enough not to feel her press her lips to mine for the last time and to hear her soft whisper, "I love you, Levi." Those were her last words, just before she took her last breath.

The next few weeks were hectic, where we had to transport her body back to our country. It was what she wanted, to be buried in her homeland.

We were at the funeral service, and almost everyone came to see her for the last time. Layla, Lucas, Alison, Nick, Mr.Andre, her family, my family, all our relatives, and even Sierra.

"The irony is that we never know when a person we love can leave us at anytime. I had the privilege of being with her, every step of the way, but that did not make it feel any better. I miss her so much. I miss the way her eyes light up when she sees me bring her favourite tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream, I miss the way she'd laugh at every of my bad jokes, I miss the way she'd put her arms around my neck when we dance across the hallway, I miss the way she snuggles up to me to inhale my scent, I miss the way she'd blush when I complimented her, I miss the way she was bossy when she was serious about doing something, I miss the way her hands fit right in mine, I miss telling her I love her, but mostly, I miss holding her while we're watching the stars from our balcony, because now she's turned into a star, the most beautiful star shining in the night sky." I read my speech from a crumpled paper in my hands.

I folded the paper back into my pocket, before looking back at the crowd, saying, "Sometimes, I wish that it was rather me than her, because she...she deserved more time, she deserved to teach her most favourite subject even longer, she deserved to get married, to have kids, to be the best mother I know she would have been, but I console myself with the thought that perhaps even God loved her too much for her to stay in this world." I laughed bitterly, ending my speech.

After the burial ceremony, I went over to my parent's. I was going back to Paris in 2 weeks time. Echo always said she wanted me to move on with my own life, little did she know that every part of my life reminded me of her.

The night after her burial, I met with Lucas, Layla and Alison. Layla did not handle the news well. Layla always dreamed of Echo becoming her bridesmaid and Echo wished for the same, but clearly, life had different plans for the both of them.

"When are you going back, Levi?" Alison asked.

"I'll be here for another 2 more weeks."

"We never really got to talk to you after she passed that day, but Levi, I hope you know we're all here for you." Lucas said, patting my shoulder.

"Thanks Lucas, I appreciate it, I really do." I thanked all of them.

"Wh-what were her last words?" Layla softly asked.

"She said she loved me." I smiled lightly recalling the memory.

Layla took my hand, squeezed it and said, "I'm so glad she had you, idiot."

I laughed slightly, squeezing her hand back, "Your strong loyalty to her and hers to you definitely made it harder to ask her to be mine, but it did make me appreciate her more." I smiled, as a thank you to Layla for all she's done for the both of us.

"For all the years I've known Echo, I'm pretty sure she'd want us to be happy, happy for her and not sobbing over her." Alison said.

"She would, she'd definitely want that." I replied.

After our meet-up, I went back home, and went up to the rooftop. I placed a blanket and a pillow down, lying down, facing the sky. The day I brought her here for her birthday surprise, I remember her asking me if my favourite colour has changed.

Flashback

"Levi?" She asked, looking up at the sky.

"Hmm?" I was looking up the sky too.

"Is your favourite colour still black?"

I thought for a while, "No."

"What is it now?"

"Burgundy red, probably."

"Oh." She said, softly, dropping the topic.

For some reason, I sensed that she thought I liked the colour because of the dress, Sierra was wearing on her birthday party.

"Are you not going to ask why?" I asked her.

"No." She replied. "Do you know mine?"

I turned, my head leaning on the palm of hand, as I pushed my body sideways to look at her.

"No, purple?" I thought about how she liked how the sky looked.

"Black." She answered.

"Why?"

"Black symbolises mystery and I think that somewhat everyone has their own black demon living in them. It also symbolises power, and weirdly wearing black makes me feel confident."

I turned back to the sky, "You're definitely weird, Echo." I shook my head, ruffling her hair, "And that's why you're my best friend."

Best friend? The word sounded weird and bitter coming out from my mouth. How do I tell her that the reason why I like burgundy red was because of the lipstick she was wearing. I don't even know what specific red Sierra was wearing, but just seeing Echo in that red unknown lipstick colour, made me search the Internet for it. What's wrong with me?

Present day

"Hi, sweetheart. It's Levi. I miss you." That was all I said, before I felt chocked up and the tears started spilling, staining my face, and I just let it all out.

After all those pent up emotions I kept bottled up, this time, I let everything go.