Kissing the Rake (Howertys #2)

Chapter 33: Shatter Me

Déjà vu. Jacob sat behind his desk in the library, staring at a piece of paper lying on the smooth surface. Only this time the letter wasn't from his father, but from Merilyn, Lady Hearn, and he'd actually opened it. Eventually. At first, he hadn't been sure if he really wanted to read it, but his natural curiosity had won out. Putting the rim of the glass against his lips, he pondered what to do next.

The door to the library opened, and Jessica entered. He didn't want to keep secrets from his wife, but he was nervous about showing her this letter. When she walked over to him, it reminded him of the last time they were alone in the library and his body instantly responded. Apparently, he could not get enough of his wife.

"Dawson said you wanted to see me?" She came around the desk and leaned her hips against it, a little too similar to the other night for his peace of mind.

"I need your opinion on something." He nodded towards the letter lying open on his desk. "Please read it and tell me what you think."

Raising her eyebrows in question, she picked up the piece of paper and scanned the few scribbled lines. It only took her a moment to read it through. With a bewildered face, she looked up at him. "Lady Hearn wishes you to call on her? Whatever for?"

"I haven't the faintest," he admitted. "There's no indication of what she wants. All she says is it's a matter of importance."

"Do you think she might want to apologise?"

He scoffed. "I find that highly unlikely."

"Are you going to see her?" She put the letter back on the desk, her cornflower-blue eyes searching his. "I think you should. You must be curious to know what she wants after all these years."

"I don't know. We parted on bad terms. I'm not sure I want to hear what she has to say."

"I know you never touched her, but do you know whose child it was?"

"I don't. Somebody else's."

"You're a fountain of wisdom today," she remarked dryly, and he flashed her a grin.

"Why don't you come with me?" he suggested. "We could go together."

She shook her head. "No. I think this is something you have to do yourself. She may not be as frank if I come along."

Taking her hand, he placed a kiss in her palm. He wasn't sure he wanted to see Merilyn again, but he would be lying if he said his curiosity wasn't piqued. "You trust me enough to let me visit her?"

"Are you planning to have an affair with her?"

"No," he said so vehemently it made her smile.

"Then I trust you."

He stood and pressed his lips to hers, pulling her close. Resting his forehead against hers, he breathed in deeply, loving the light scent of lavender that always clung to her. He opened his eyes and met her gaze. "Jessica... I meant what I said at the ball. I've not been with another woman since the first time I kissed you, and I plan to be a faithful husband."

She raised her hand and placed her palm against his cheek. "I want to believe you, Jacob. It's just... You've always been such a rake. You may not have been with anyone else yet, but I struggle to see how someone like you will ever be content with one woman."

Frustrated, he stepped away from her. "I thought you believed me."

"I do." She smiled sadly. "I just don't think you should promise something you cannot keep."

"Then have a little faith in me? I'm not some animal who can't control their urges."

A look of hesitation crossed her face. "Everyone says—"