Spider-Man And Avengers Oneshots

Black Honey Badger

Natasha walked around looking for something fun to do. She had done enough training today to last her a lifetime and read every book there was in this tower. She sighed. This really couldn't get any more boring. She walked around to snoop in the others rooms.

What better place to find blackmail material? She walked into the newest Avenger's room, dr. Strange. She raised an eyebrow as she saw a stone. 'Spirit animal' was edged into it.

"Wonder what that is for." She asked herself out loud as she tossed it in the air and caught it again. As she caught it a white grey smoke surrounded her. A few seconds later a Honey badger took her place.

She looked around. Everything was big. Did she mess with the wrong things? Great, Clint's clumsiness is rubbing off on her. She walked out the door.

Now, to find Strange. She patted through the halls in search for the sometimes present most of the time absent Avenger. She wouldn't find him.

Tony was taking a break in his lab, he had pulled an almost al night er, he fell asleep around three and slept till seven. Peter and Peppers efforts to get him into a normal sleeping schedule seemed to start taking some effect... He needed coffee. Now. He slumped outside the door and heavily trudged his way to the place of gods. The coffee maker. He poured himself a cup and sipped it. "That's the stuff." He moaned in ecstasy. He brought the cup to his lips for another sip when he saw it. A small black creature.

He slowly backed away. He opened the drawer as quietly as he could and grabbed a pan. This would have to do. The beast saw him and growled. He jumped up the counter and squealed. "Begone spawn of Satan." He screamed. It just looked at him and hissed. That thing hissed at him!

Clint peeked around the corner. "What are you screaming about Stark?" Tony just pointed his pan to the creature. "Holy! What is that?" He asked. The creature growled at him. He squeezed and joined Tony on the counter.

Natasha sighed. She just growled at them out of habit. She was ashamed that these were earths Mightiest heroes. None of them helped her. She was afraid not. They were, for all their genius, idiots.

Sam and Steve came inside too. They just had their run. "On your left. If I hear you say that one more time I'm gonna have an aneurism." Sam complained. They looked up at the two idiots on the counter. "What are you guys doing?" Sam Asked.

Steve nodded along. Tony pointed again and Clint just eyed the spot he pointed to suspiciously. "What is ove- Oh my god. What is that. Is that a mini bear!" Sam screamed. He jumped on the backrest of the couch. "Steve. Use that super soldier something and get rid of it."

Natasha couldn't have that. She hissed at them and growled. Steve slowly approached but backed off when the beast 'in his eyes' tried to bite but actually took of a chunk of the wooden chair. "Good mini bear." He coaxed. Natasha wasn't having it.

These idiotic morons. Where they really this dense. How could an animal get into this part of the tower. Ask FRIDAY and she'll answer that it is her.

Steve backed up in a corner and just watched the animal. Sam looked at him in disappointment while pulling his legs up higher when Natasha growled at him. Yeah, she didn't think so hypocrite.

Natasha was getting agitated. As a result, she kept on growling and hissing while walking in circles. Her only option was to wait for someone with a brain. When she tried to walk out she was met with a pan thrown at her. "Why did you do that. It was about to leave!?" Clint screamed at Tony.

Tony looked at him like he was mentally deficient. "And risk that thing getting to Pepper!? I don't think so." He said. Natasha couldn't help but approve of him for that little observation.

They sat there in tense silence for about thirty minutes. Every time someone tried to do something Natasha would growl, Miss a bite and instead tear a chunk from whatever was closest.

Eventually the elevator dinged. Peter walked out. Natasha's hope was renewed. A new person with potentially smart brains. "Hey mr. Stark. Are you having another prank war. I would've thought at least you mr. Rogers would not tolerate that. Something on the floor?" He asked as he came in. He carries a smile as the rest of the present Avengers look at him shocked, having been deep into a trance of keeping an eye on the beast and not dying that they forgot time was a thing.

Peter looked around and his eyes landed on Natasha. His eyes widened and he jumped to the ceiling. "What is a honey badger doing in here!?" He asked in a startled squeal.

Stark looked at him. "You know what this thing is?" He asked. Peter nodded from his position upside down on the ceiling. "Then you must know how to get rid of it. You have super strength right? Use it." Tony said.

Peter shook his head. "Aren't you Avengers. I'm only a honorary member and a kid. Take care of it." He said.

Sam tried next. This was their first spark of hope. "Come on now. You can lift more then ten ton. This little thing won't be a problem right?" He tried to coax the spider child.

Peter violently shook his head. "These animals take it up against lions and win. They eat freaking poisonous snakes for breakfast. I'm not touching it." He said.

Natasha smiled only showing teeth in this form further terrifying those around. Especially with this new information. The stone said spirit animal. She could've hit a worse one.

Stark tried again. "Web it up then." He urged.

Peter shook his head again. "If there is escape possible these little demons will use it. I'm not risking a sneak attack. Do you know how smart these things are!?"

Clint waved his hand. "You don't know that for sure." He said.

Peter huffed. "I've seen the videos of someone who owned these. He literally removed everything out of a cage that could be used to climb the walls, changed the locks three times, heightened the walls and put prickly things on top of the door and that thing still escaped." He was not risking it.

After a few seconds of silence he continued. "How did it even get in here?" He glared at Clint.

Clint shook his head. "It wasn't me." He defended.

Peter's death glare turned to Sam. "Don't look at me." He waved off while looking at Natasha.

Peter growled. "Then who did it?" Natasha kind of saw where this was going. She wanted to stick her thumbs up for Peter in a uncharacteristic Black Widow move but she couldn't. Paws and all that. She did stop growling. "FRIDAY, who let this animal in here?" He asked.

FRIDAY finally came to life. 'Natasha Romanoff. Or maybe as a more accurate way to describe it, that honey badger is miss. Romanoff.' Peter glanced down as did the rest of those hunched on their hiding spots.

Steve frowned. "Then why would she attack... Never mind. It's Natasha." He said.

Natasha did the only thing she could. She nodded at Peter. "Is that really you miss Romanoff?" He asked. Natasha just nodded again. "How did that happen?" He glanced to Natasha and then up to the ceiling. "FRIDAY?" He asked.

'It would seem an object from dr. Strange has caused this.' She answered.

Tony spoke up next. "Fri, call Strange." He said with a sigh, coming down but still eyeing the animal distrustful.

Ten minutes later Strange showed up and twenty minutes later after they explained Natasha was back.

Tony was awkwardly trying to break the silence. "Sooo, a honey badger." He asked.

Natasha just nodded and said. "A honey badger."