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"Crap

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"Crap."

I bolted out of bed, slipped on some shorts and slippers while my hands gathered knots of hair into a decent updo.

Thanks to last night's long self-reflection session, I'm doomed to announce that today marks the first, and hopefully last, time I'm late.

・ヾ(。><)シ
Cycles in the speed of sound but breaks a bottle of milk
(凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

Taking extra caution as to not lose my entire wage on another bottle of milk, I delivered to the last house on my list.

But before I could safely return to resume my fantasy of miraculously teleporting to school grounds, the owner of the house stepped out to meet my glorious, booger-infested mug.

"Oya~ so you were a student afterall? I was wandering why I never got to see the delivery person, but now that should answers that," the black-haired woman greeted with a hand over her chest, her voice fresh yet soothing.

It would've done wonders on my poor nerves had I looked presentable.

For the sake of good mannerism, I offered a smile before a very sophisticated reply to come out of an intellectual being, such as myself, and for that I needed a splash of intelligence.

Except all the intelligence evaporated upon gazing at the family name plate of the house tenants, "K-K-K-Ku-Kur-"

"You got this, Darling. Almost there~" the woman encouraged giggling lightly to herself.

"Kuroo-san!" I snapped bowing to her in a perfect 90 degrees angle.

"That's right!" the mama hen clapped, coming closer to the geometrical human shape I've turned into, "I assume you know my Tetsuro?"

"Uh... Yes, ma'am!" I relied, snapping up into a 180 degrees angle.

"My, my so you do!" the woman laughed proudly while smacking the shoulder of my stiff figure. "How is that boy in school? Does he get in trouble much? Is his unhealthy volleyball obsession scaring his friends?" after the waterfall of questions splashing me back to reality, I worked my best to answer.

If only there was time to answer such hyperactive woman.

To think Orihime is an extraterrestrial species was an overstatement, now. She only displayed a case of overprotective motherhood as is the case with Kuroo-san.

The mama hen tucked strands of black hair behind her ear as a sigh left her lips, now speaking in a calmer and more melancholic tone, "you know how it is when boys grow older, they get more and more secretive. And to think he was such a mama's boy..."

"My condolences," my dumbass replied.

Note to self: dial mum today and ask her if she dropped you during infancy.

Fortunately, mama hen thinks she's in the precence of an aspiring comedian and took the previlige to laugh at my misery.

Or at least I hope that's the reason behind her voluminous cackles.

Kuroo-san wiped a tear and sighed as she commented, "when did kids become so well-versed in comedy."

"Ahaha... I really am sorry, Kuroo-san, but I must get going!"

"Right, right! Shoo now before you're late to class!" the concerned mother shooed away with her hand. "And thank you for the morning laugh, um..."

"Oh, Katsuhira Kyoko!" I bowed, growing ever so red with embarrassment for not introducing myself.

"Mhm, Katsuhira-chan~!"

I mounted my fabulous bicycle all the while trying my best to survive the painful consequences of being born as an inferior species of human in a Japanese society.

But before I could aim to reach an all time high cycling speed record out of this catastrophic encounter, I figured since it's already a ruined experience, I could say the product of last night's overthinking.

Of course, I won't utter a word of her son having the honour of coming across a stripper yesterday.

Just going to say something I'm immensely grateful for.

So I came to an abrupt stop and turned to find Kuroo-san still standing in front of the house, planning to look over me as I was cycling away.

The warm gesture didn't fail to make me smile.

"Did you miss something?" she questioned, surprised.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to answer your questions about... Um Kuroo Tetsuro! But I wanted to say this, at the very least," I got off my bike and turned to her with a bow, "thank you so much for giving birth to him!"

After a moment, I looked up to find Kuroo-san's hand hovering over her lips.

Probably suppressing a yawn.

Either way, I waved at her and cycled off, completely unaware that I've made the woman sob tears of joy.

A/N: Short chapter is so short, it's one Hinata long.

Amount of effort that was supposed to be put in: Oikawa Tooru

Amount of effort that was actually put in: Wall-san

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