mahogany ; d.m

50 - longing

It was too early to be awake. The nightmares. The fucking nightmares.

Athena could remember this one vividly.

There had been a forest, a great beautiful wood, decorated with trees that stretched beyond miles, all fern green and the most colossal she'd ever seen. She had taken herself through the trees, following a path. The daylight flickered through the leaves, rays of the luminescent sun soaking into her skin, shining upon her hair. All was so peaceful at first. It was a dream.

The first dream in months.

But as she followed the path, and the deeper she drove herself into the woods, the sunlight dimmed, and it was suddenly the night. Not an idyllic night. Far from it. It was so dull, so lifeless.

The path she trailed along turned all feelings of positivity to hopelessness and despair. She turned back, trying to find her way out of the void. But the path had disappeared behind her.

There was only forward, into darkness. Not a blissful darkness, but the most harrowing, disturbing, the worst darkness imaginable.

The trees were closing in on her and she could no longer move her feet. There was nothing—no feeling. Not even pain. Such an abysmal loneliness, it would drive one mad in an instant.

But it was just a nightmare—far from reality.

He was not there beside her. Draco was not there, and she was alone. It was still early, he would be back when she awoke again. It gave her some clarity of peace to believe so.

But sleeping again meant vulnerability to the mares. She couldn't handle them alone. Feeling lonely in sleep, waking to find no one around.

She was being irrational. The adrenaline of the terror was playing upon her desperation.

The wind was howling ferociously on the other side of the exterior walls, causing the archaic window to rattle. Hogwarts walls were impenetrable. Nothing could hurt her here.

The fear was new.

She'd never been able to remember the appalling nightmares that usually made her feel this way. She'd never felt such agony, mixed with the memories of the nightmares, therefore never had a reason to feel scared. But all she could think about was the darkness.

She'd need to start taking Dreamless Sleep Potion again. Pomfrey had only allowed her to use it a few times when they were so terrible that she couldn't go a night without having a nightmare. Taking the potion too frequently would complicate her body's climate—she would grow accustomed to the effects and wouldn't be able to sleep without it.

Her body would rely on Dreamless Sleep, perhaps threatening to wither her internally if she'd stop taking the potion. Thus, it could only be used a few times a month at most.

She wandered into Draco's bathroom, remembering a few of the potions that he had stored under the sink. He'd had an entire crate of Dreamless Sleep that were running short. But there was still a large amount in there.

They were not supposed to take any potions without Pomfrey's permission, but that didn't stop Athena from twisting off the cap and downing the small flask as soon as she was lying back in his bed.