𝗺𝘆 𝗶. seventeen added member

a time of healing

TW// mentions of abuse, eating disorders, and anxiety

the day the audio came out of his argument with his ex girlfriend chaos shut down. he didn't pick up any calls and refused to talk to anybody. he was forced to relive horrible memories for a week straight while he and the company tried to straighten things out. he was forced to sit across from doyeon, and a side of himself he had fought so hard to get rid of had been showcased for everyone. a side of himself that kept his head low and became scared of every noise and every action of the people around him. he was never like this... but doyeon made him like this. and when he was forced to sit across the table from her in a boardroom with the ceo's of pledis entertainment and fantagio entertainment he felt his walls cave in. the controversy and being involved with doyeon again had caused a spike in his anxiety just like the last time they had met.

and even when his name was cleared chaos was still a wreck. his friends, members, and boyfriend tried to get him back on track...but failed. it wasn't until his mother called him and had told him she was sorry for letting him go through his relationship with his ex-girlfriend by himself that he cried on the phone and told his mom everything from the abuse of his ex, to the eating disorder doyeon had caused him, and even about how jungwoo tried so hard to keep in contact with him but chaos kept pushing him away. chaos' mother tried not to show her own heartbreak as her eldest son told her the repeated abuse he had gone through. 

they talked for hours and at the end she had requested that he come back home for some time. she couldn't stand to not see her son for years anymore and did not want him to jump back into group activities. chaos had agreed and later on managed to get the okay from his company to let him go on a mental health hiatus.

eventually, he began letting his friends and members back into his life. he was too worried of what jungwoo would think and still refused to talk with him. he was at a loss for words when jungwoo showed up at the dorms and asked if he could spend the night. the entire day jungwoo acted like their relationship hadn't taken a toll, and continued to treat chaos with the same love and respect he always had.

it was now 3 am and jungwoo and chaos laid awake in the american's bed. chaos' head was on the elder's chest while jungwoo played with his hair softly. usually the roles were reversed, but tonight chaos needed the comfort and joshua had given them the room to do so. "i'm taking a hiatus." chaos had spoken for the first time today, and jungwoo wanted to shower him in kisses for doing so, but he let the younger continue. "i'm going back to the states."

the hand in chaos' hair stopped and chaos decided to swallow hard and sit up, knees to chest and arms wrapped around them. "i want you to come with me." chaos states, and jungwoo's lack of response worries him so he begins to ramble. "i don't mean the entire time because i know you have your own things to do, but i accidentally told my mom about you and now she wants to meet you and my sisters have been bugging me to let them meet you for a while now, and my brother wants to know if you know how to cook because no one in my family can but i understand if you don't want to go i mean it's half way across the world and-"

chaos cut himself off when he noticed jungwoo smiling softly at the boy and then sat up, their faces becoming undeniably close. "you're cute when you ramble." jungwoo's smile making chaos melt. "is that a yes?" chaos cautiously asked.

"of course." he responded barely above a whisper before they both began to lean in and for the first time in three and a half weeks they kissed, soft and short. 

jungwoo had broken away and held the younger's hand tightly. "i'm proud of you, i wouldn't have been able to do all this alone." 

chaos sighed contently  and squeezed the older's hand, "i have some things to tell you."

that night the two stayed up as chaos told jungwoo everything from start to finish and at the end jungwoo had pulled chaos into a long hug and reassured him that everything was okay.

i listened to a loop of younghoon's say something cover to write this chapter