Fell In Love In Stages // a matty healy fanfic

It Comes In Waves

I wake up at 2 in the afternoon. Wow I must've been worn out. I check my phone. 2 missed calls from Lacy.
- Hey, you rang? I text her and walk to the bathroom. I wet my toothbrush and read her reply
- a bunch of us r going 2 a frens gig 2nyt
join us x

I mull it over for a second,
- Rough night
I'm dead
- gigs @ 7 pm
lmk if ur down
- Cool x

I go downstairs and Manya, our housekeeper greets me with a berry smoothie bowl. I thank her and ask her about my father.
"Mr. Hastings landed last evening, while you were getting ready, miss Trinity. He called out for you but I think you were in shower."
"Where is he now?"
"He go to meet with business clients"
"Surprise surprise" I roll my eyes
"He ask me to give you this", she hands me a paper bag
I peep inside and see a pale celeste blue floral dress. Huh, gotta hand it to him. At least the man's got taste.
"So how's life, Manya? How are the kids?"
"They're doing fine, miss. They're all excited to see me this weekend" she says ecstatically.
"I wish they could all visit you here"
"I do too, but they can't miss school. Education is very important, I tell them. Plus, it cheaper for me to fly back home, instead of getting four tickets for them to fly here" she says sheepishly
"You're such a good mom, Manya. And so strong"
"Thank you, miss T" she smiles. "Dima, my eldest, is almost done with school so we're planning to bring him here for further studies"
"Dad's got connections everywhere so you let me know where he wants to go and we can arrange something for him"
Manya is absolutely beaming, at the idea. "That would be nice, miss"
"Don't worry about it Manya, you're the only parent figure I have around here" I joke, but she sees the sadness in my eyes.
"I've readied your bath, miss". She always just knew when to change the subject. She's great like that.

Upstairs in the bathtub, I light some candles and let the warmth of the water soak deep within my pores. The bath bomb Manya put in the tub today smelled like cherries.
Cherry.
I get a flashback of his tongue in my mouth and it tastes like cherry. I guess I haven't allowed myself to think about him up until this point. But now that the seed has been planted, I couldn't shake the thought of him off.
Shut up I don't even know him. But I want to.
What about Charlie? You don't love Charlie.
We've been together for ages now. Are you really even officially together?
Wait, were we?
He was always just... there, I suppose. And in a way, he did help distract me from my sadness after my mom's passing. I remember for an entire month he took me on drives and to parties and weekend getaways. Don't they say trauma bonds people? That's how it felt with Charlie. Not someone I chose for myself, but someone the universe chose for me.
And if there's one thing I've learned in life is that I don't get to choose who stays.

Why have I never questioned what we were before? Why am I questioning it now?
I'm overwhelmed with all these thoughts swimming in my head.
I submerge myself completely underwater and stay there till my breath runs out, and then some.