Fell In Love In Stages // a matty healy fanfic

Collateral Damage

As we walk down the hall towards the living room; the sounds of the party grow louder, and I can hear the bass thumping and people laughing. The air is thick with alcohol and perfume. I feel a little nervous about rejoining the party after having been in the bathroom with Matty for so long, but he squeezes my hand reassuringly and I flinch, slightly.

As we step in, my eyes scan the room, immediately locking into Gemma and George conversing near the piano. I can sense the weight of their discussion before even hearing a single word.

Her expression is the first thing I notice. Her face is taken aback, almost as if she's been caught off guard. The surprise on her face is quickly replaced with that of anger, her eyes locking onto mine just then.
"You!" She screams, pointing at me from across the room.
Matty and I are standing side by side, frozen in shock as we watch Gemma approach us. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, my palms sweaty.

"So you're the reason Matty can't look me in the eye when we fuck."
But before I can even open my mouth, Matty steps forward, his face is contorted in anger. "Jesus Christ. What the fuck you on about?" he says, his voice raised. "I don't do missionary because it's boring, not because of some imaginary connection to her!" he gestures at me.

Gemma's eyes darted back and forth between us, and then she turns back to me, sneering. "So you're here to do what exactly? Try to win him back?"

I feel a surge of anger boil inside of me, and I take a confrontational step forward. He looks at me, his eyes softening, and I know what he's thinking. He's embarrassed his insides are spilling out.

He takes a step forward, his hands acting as a barrier between her and I.
He takes a deep breath, his eyes flickering as he tries to find the right words.
"Gem" he starts, "we agreed to this as friends with benefits. We both knew what we were getting into."

Gemma's eyes are red, her face twisted with pain. "I can't do this anymore, Matty," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't keep pretending like I don't care about you. I can't keep pretending like this doesn't hurt."

"My intentions were clear from the start. You know I can't be what you want me to be. I thought we were on the same page about this."

She shakes her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. "It's not about that," she says. "It's about how you treat people. It's about how you use them and throw them away like they're nothing."

I look around the room of people, their expressions frozen in shock and disbelief. The air hung heavy with tension, suffocating us all as the silence settles in like a thick fog. All the energy and life that had filled the space earlier had evaporated, leaving behind only a sense of unease that threatened to consume us all. Gemma stood there, her eyes fixed on Matty, and I could feel the weight of her pain and humiliation hanging in the air like a storm cloud.

"I wanted to do this in private, didn't I?" he says, his voice calm and measured. "But every time I tried tonight, you weren't willing to listen, were you?"

His tone softens slightly as he continues.
"I didn't want to hurt you, Gem, but you brought this upon yourself," he says, spreading his arms and gesturing to the crowd.
"The deal was to keep this between us, and you've ruined it. This is the consequence of your own actions." His words are harsh, but there's a sense of finality in his voice.

I look at him just then. The man standing in front of me was unrecognisable. All semblance of the old Matty had vanished. He held his mouth differently, more tightly, if that made any sense, and his smooth grace seemed to have gone missing. He had always seemed so at ease, so comfortable in his skin, but now he was... taut. Strained.

Gemma's eyes fill with tears, and she whispers,
"I-I didn't mean to embarrass you."
Matty's response is firm, "It's not about embarrassing me. It's about not respecting my boundaries. It's over."
She looks up at him, her eyes red and puffy- "Goodbye Matty" is all she says before walking away.

As soon as she leaves, the mood in the room shifts. It's like a weight has been lifted off of everyone's shoulders. George takes control of the situation and announces that the party is over. Adam and Ross thank everyone for coming and politely ask them to leave. The room empties out quickly, and when the crowd starts thinning, I notice Noah standing off to the side, and realise he'd witnessed the entire ordeal. I could see him feel a pang of sympathy towards Gemma. After all, he knew how it felt to be rejected.
I rush over to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you about Matty and I. I-I didn't think it was a big deal..." I trail off, unable to form my thoughts into words.

Noah looked at me wearily, his eyes full of exhaustion. "It's not your fault, Trinity," he said, his voice soft and worn out. "I get it. Gemma and I... people like us- we're just collateral damage."
I start to say something but he cuts me off.
"I'm just tired. I want to go home."

I nodded, my heart heavy with regret. I knew I had made a mistake by keeping Noah in the dark about my past. I'd been confused about my feelings for Matty when I got here, but now it was clear as day.
As I stood there, watching Noah's retreating back, I realised that when you play with fire, someone always gets burned.