lizzie geller was grossly in love with her older sister's best friend rachel green in high school. seeing her in a wedding dress in their hang out spot wasn't anticipated, neither was the resurfacing of old emotions.
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─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
IT WASN'T THE HEAT BURNING from my radiator that woke me up, it wasn't the garbage truck chugging outside and it wasn't the uncomfortability of my jeans against my soft bed sheets. It was the pain in my stomach that resembled emptiness. The feeling of guilt sat heavy like an immovable weight on my chest, suffocating even the tiny breaths I tried to manage out my asphyxiated lungs. I let out a small grunt as I checked the alarm clock; 8:32, the handles read. I didn't have an office to go to, being a freelance author had a few perks. I could wear what I want, work when I want and work where I want. Most of the time it was in Central Perk so I was in there a lot but on the odd occasion Monica would reserve me a table at the restaurant she worked at and let me write there until the head chef kicked me out.
I spun myself off the bed and tucked my sweater back into my jeans. Yeah, I couldn't be bothered to get changed yet. Wait no. I had to get changed. I couldn't go back into Monica and Rachel's apartment wearing the same clothes. Rachel would probably think I'd had some sort of mental breakdown after last night, which most certainly did not happen. And so, I changed into a faded pink satin shirt and some ebony cigarette trousers. They had a writer aesthetic to it which I could appreciate.
Applying the minimum amount of make-up, I left my apartment and took a deep breath outside Monica and Rachel's. I was going to see her for the first time after last night. The night after everything changed.
I didn't knock. Nobody knocked. "Hi guys!" I plastered on a nonchalant, care-free smile. "Hey!" Chandler looked up from the coffee table when him and Joey were sitting. "Rachel's making coffee." My heart flinched at the sound of her name and I looked to see her dithering about the kitchen in a silk, rose dressing gown. "Oh," I exhaled. "Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life," she beamed, handing Joey and Chandler a mug. She didn't glance at me as I neared the table. "That is amazing," said Chandler, sarcastically nodding. " Congratulations," Joey added. "Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something..." The two took a sip of the coffee and their faces turned sour as they poured the liquid into the plant pot. "Although actually I'm really not that hungry..." said Joey, changing his mind. Okay here's my chance. "Hey Rach!" I smiled as we stood between the couch and the tea table. "Last night was fun huh," I said breezily, at least I hoped it was breezy... "Well from what I can remember, yeah, I mean we had a lot to drink," Rachel trailed off. "Re-re-remember? But you, you remember right?" I asked, feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Remember what?" she asked, nonchalant.
She didn't remember.
"Remember that you um that... Phoebe! made some cookies, they're in my apartment," I made up quickly. "Oh um well I'm not that hungry for cookies right now," said Rachel, sceptical of my lie. How could she not remember, it was pretty vivid if I picture it rightly. This could be viewed as a good thing. Now things wouldn't be awkward - me being excused from 'things'. But would this mean things could never happen between Rachel and I? Well... how likely were they to happen in the first place is the real question?
