Hetalia One-Shots

a cringe fic

The nations were in their natural habitat and America was feeling exceptionally chatty, which was saying something. All the other nations had resigned to their fate. It wasn’t like he was ever boring. After Canada egged him on, he started telling an interesting version of his revolution. It just so happened that the youth of the country was specifically targeting America tonight in his inebriated state. 

America and the leaned in, wobbling on their seats, “...and so lets not forget my ally is a bad b*tch, army on straight savage! You should’a seen iggy’s face, he hella pressed! France and me, with hella drip, pulled up on scene with the bois-

“Who’s the bois!” yelled Canada, who was recording all this for posterity. And blackmail. 
Americas eyes lit up, still maintain the attention of his audience, “THE BOSS!!!” He high fived the BTT along with a few other European nations. “Anywho, me and my bad B of a ally told iggy he was trippin if he thought he was keepin’ yorktown!”

The nations all shared a similar distaste for England and all voiced their agreement, egging him on further, “I know right, dude! Iggy was mad sus back in the day! Me and the bois knew he was straight cappin when he said ‘You’ll be back!’- he said that in a terrible accent- Me and Francis knew that straight bull. I mean I was sitting at the dock and what did I see, ‘Is that my bestie in a tessi’?!” 
America took a sip of his drink and seemed to get tired along with the other nations and fall face forward while saying something about the ‘british were mad hatters’. Canada laughed maniacally, pushing send on his phone. 

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America came into the conference room with his dark aviator shades and a comically large cup of coffee. He cringed in on himself when England zeroed in his stare and started yelling while the BTT was laughing at iggy’s  expense. 

England came and stuck his finger in America's face, “What the bloody h*ll is wrong with you?! I bring you into my home and raise you like a son and THIS is how I am repaid. Of all the ungrateful-ugg you insufferable CHILD-” 

England’s rant/lecture was stopped when America put a hand over his mouth, “Shut up.” he growled. Everyone but England laughed quietly, he just stood there like a fish out of water. 

America tapped his brother’s shoulder, “Hey matt, next time I would appreciate you not posting again.” Mattie, the little b&@$^ just laughed at his brother.