Hetalia One-Shots

Bars lead to the need of Healthcare

This is based off some YouTube videos I saw. I will try to find them, but here is this for the mean time. Do not do any of the dumb stuff in this that al does in this fic. This is purely for laughs.
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It was a pretty day with fluffy white clouds and a bright blue sky. Birds were chirping, insects buzzing busily and there was the faint rumble of a lawnmower in the distance. It was serene. That was till America decided it was time for fast draw practice.

He had spent the earlier portion of the day spray painting various trees around his yard with targets. He sauntered a couple paces from the trees and was just ready to draw when his phone rang.

~I know you want to be canadian please~

He smirked and answered the phone. Matt was probably shit faced becuase today was the eve of his birthday, "Yellow mattie! What's up-" Before he could finish Matt interrupted him, "Al the others showed up and they are getting a bit-" yelling and crashing was heard over the line, "-rowdy. Can you come over?" Al smiled his hero smile, "Sure thing bro! The hero will save you!" Canada rolled his eyes but was happy he would have his back. He flinched as he saw Prussia's body slam a table.

About an hour later Al showed up and searched for Matt but bumped into Arthur who was a few beers deep. He looked up, large eyebrows scrunched together with squinted, beady green eyes that widened with recognition then anger, "HEY! BLOODY GIT!" Al turned around to see an angry Arthur, "Oh! Didn't see you man, I didn't mean-"

"So you think you better than me ?"

Al backed away in surprise, "No man! I just bumped into you!"

"You think you are better because you are taller?"

Alfred looked confused and a bit miffed at Arthur trying to pick a fight, "Where are you getting this, dude?!"

Arthur huffed before marching closer to strangle him. Al was supposed to stop fights for Mattie not start them. He ran a hand through his hair, "look dude, I wasn't trying to look down on ya or anything." He said sincerely.

Arthur's brows squished into a unibrow and his face got beet red with anger. Francis was snickering. Al had no clue what the eurotrash was laughing at.

Arthur huffed, ignoring him, "Let's settle this like men."

Al looked confused, "Settle what?"

"I am better than you! ...at drinking!" Arthur slurred.

Al, while trying to be mature, couldn't let a dig like that stand.

Francis tried to stop them while the harried bartender poured the drinks, "Rosbif, he is too young!" He was ignored.

He then attempted to take the shot glass from al but it was moved out of his grasp. He huffed in parental concern, "Mon petite Chou you will hurt yourself!"

Nevertheless the competition went on.

~a little while latter~

Matt called Al again, he was supposed to be there already. He looked around the bar till he saw America jumping on his tiptoes like a kangaroo taunting Ivan, "You think you're the baddest B in this club? You trippin' commie...My crew are ready to fight! Right!?"

His 'crew' mind you, did not share this sentiment to a t. In fact I believe they severely disagreed as the FCE and Mexico backed away from the situation.

Ivan for his part was trying and failing to keep cool with the idiot, "Utro? What crew mate?" he smirked a bit as he saw Al fall back on the heels of his feet to look around. Russia snickered, "It seems you are all alone...what a "crew" as you would say, Da?"

A few snickers were heard.

Al whipped around to glare at him again, "FINE! ALL Y'ALL MFS COME ON! I'LL KNOCK 'YA BACK! COME ON!" Al waved his arms erratically as he went back to bouncing around the bar, challenging everyone to a fight. Canada tried to calm his brother down but ended up getting beer poured over his head. He wiped it out of his eyes, and glared at his drunk brother.

Canada felt a vein in his forehead throb and decided he would do the world a favor and punched all in the face and out the window where he slid and was stopped by the wheel of his car. He looked back up, "D@mn, these mfs got hands..." before he passed out.

Canada painted from anger till he noticed the room was deathly quiet, "what?"

"D@@@mmmmmnnnnn!" Prussia let out a whistle and fistbumped Denmark, "Sheeeeeeshhhhh!"

Ukraine yelped, "Matthew..." she put a hand over her mouth and looked like she would cry. Matthew realized that he had lost his temper with his twin again and upset Ukraine in the process. He panicked to calm her and explain himself.

In the meantime an ambulance was called and arrived to take Al to the hospital. Just as the EMTs were about to load the stretcher into the ambulance he came to. He looked around blurry and saw a miffed and stumbling England, guilty Canada, and worried France. Canada stepped forward and grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry, alfie....I lost my temper a-a-and now you're going to the hospital!" Canada, the sweetie, looked like he would cry.

America's eyebrows raised and his eyes bugged, "Hospital?" he asked with a voice crack.

France huffed, "Oui petit chou, ARTHUR" he emphasized, "shouldn't have bet you to drink that much...now you will probably get your stomach pumped..." He glared over at England who rolled his eyes.

Alfred began to rub his head anxiously before glaring at them, "WHY, and let me be clear, Why the hell did you call an ANBULANCE! I am fine! I can walk! I'm alive!"

Canada sighed, guilty, "You drank like a fish and went flying through a window."

England huffed, "D@mnit Alfred! You need to go to hospital!" He over enunciated trying to sound sober.

Francis slapped a hand to his forehead, "The connard is right."

Alfred put his hands up indicating for them to stop talking, "First of all, it is the hospital. Secondly, who needs to go to the hospital to get their stomach pumped, you can do that just by puk-"

England's face got red with anger, "You bloody idiot! That is not the same thing! You are not a doctor!"

"Then who the hell is going to pay my ambulance bill then? 'Cause I don't got 50,000 Gs, 'aight!?" He asked incredulously. Canada tried to speak up but everyone ignored him.

He huffed at their silence, "That's what I thought. You could have just put me in a Uber or hell on the bus! That's cheaper!"

He then got to looking around where he was at. Al stopped and it looked like the rusty gears in his head were turning slowly then his eyes darted around,
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" he yelled and jumped off the stretcher as England, France, and Canada tried to keep him on it.

"BLOODY H*LL ALFRED! GET BACK HERE!" He then fell on his face.

America, not listening, ran and stumbled and fell into romano carrying a pizza, and fell on his face as well. He looked back to see Romano cussing and Canada running after him and yelling, "AL YOUR IN MY PLACE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ANYTHING!!". It was too late as America was running, albeit not in a straight line, but he was running like a track star off into the neon sunset.