Hetalia One-Shots

Memes(Yet another Cringe fic)

England was out for a stroll in his beautiful city, Manchester. Although people made fun of it for the choices of a few, he thought it to be incredibly rude to judge a whole town based on that. He continued to walk to his favorite tea shop for a cuppa and perhaps some fish and chips on the way home.

He was lost in his prideful internal banter until he passed by an alley and heard a commotion. He wondered if anyone was in trouble. He couldn't allow that. A gentleman never abandons their duty, and he had a duty to his subjects. He entered the alley while hiding behind a few rubbish bins till he saw the outline of two people. He could faintly overhear their conversation.

"You got the goods?" Lo and behold, it was Russia who was worryingly rubbing his hands.

A overly confident laugh followed which caused Russia to look around panicked, "SHHH, please shut your-"

America clapped him on the back and pulled down his shades, "I got the good stuff, only if you got the price."

Russia reached into his coat and America into his, England could see the faint outline of their respective weapon, but instead they hid what they held with their hand and passed it covertly.

Russia glanced and smiled, "Spasiba."

America smiled a mischievous smile, "Anytime."

Russia slipped away from the other side of the alley and America slid into the shadow.

England was floored and blood left his face, America was a drug dealer....to RUSSIA! Of all people! England numbly left the alley and ran into France at a tea shop.

"Honhon, I did not expect to see you here, rosbif!" France flipped his hair but looked concerned when England kept walking and mumbling "raised him better".

He turned around, "Angleterre?"

England snapped out of his trance and glared, "You!"

France blinked confused, "Quoi?"

England rounded on him, "This is all your fault!"

France still confused, "Quoi? For what?" He then glared a bit at England, "Is zhis about Canada?!"

England glared, "Who's Canada?"

"Mon petite Mathieu?! America's brother?! You know, one of your colonies?! Seriously angleterre-"

England dismissively waved his hand, "Alright! I get it!" France crossed his arms.

England sipped his tea till he saw Russia walking with China across the street and broke his cup,.

France sighed, which drawed England's attention, "YOU!"

France getting angry huffed, "Quoi?"

England got redder and redder till he popped, "YOU BLOODY FROG! Your the reason America is the way he is! I raised him to be gentleman, not to conduct back alley drug deals! Your influence ruined my sweet boy! Now he is a moron!" He began to tear up with the thought of chibi America.

France, feeling thoroughly insulted started to yell right back at England, "MOI! A BAD INFLUENCE! NON! C'est you! You pirate! You and your crude ways 'ave corrupted those innocent boys! I knew about Canada and zhe dealing to zhe Nederlands, but now petite Amerique!" At the end passerbys tried to not make eye contact with the two bemoaning where they went wrong with their colonies.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

America strutted into the meeting with an annoying amount of confidence, ahem, awesomeness. It had been a while since the last meeting and he had been very busy. He sipped on his drink, noticing his twin, he elbowed him. He got a nudge back and Canada slid a note over towards his brother. America opened the letter and read it. He looked across the room and saluted with a smile. Canada made a small smile as well.

England and France watched them in horror. Where did the sweet NA bros go, now-now they were-were. They both sighed in disappointment and determination. It may be humiliating, but it had to be done. After days of arguing they had decided that having an intervention for those involved would be best. Besides France was a bit concerned about 'russie' as well.

The meeting was winding down and the countries were filling out a few forms and getting each other sign others over agreements and what not. America passed by Russia and dropped an envelope. However before he could pick up the envelope Sealand grabbed and ran to England, "Here! Now recognize me!"

England plucked the envelope out of Sealand's hand and ignored him. The room noticing Russia's scared look and simultaneously scary look, became quiet. America and Canada stopped and stared a triumphant England.

England gave a gentlemanly chuckle with a smirk, "hahah, Lad's I do believe that the jig is up!"

America stepped towards him, "Iggy? What do you mean?" he tilted his head with big blue eyes for extra effect.

France gave him a disappointing look, "Zhat will not work-you to Canada."

If you looked closely you could see sweet dripping down their faces. Russia trying not to incriminate himself, kept it cool.

England looked to the twins with a disapproving glance, "Are you really dealing drugs to Russia-" CRASH

He didn't to get to finish because Russia crashed out the window, trying to escape from his boss. America pulled at his collar, "Igggggyyyyy! I'm not doin' that. It's just memes..."

England blinked and opened the envelope and dumped it on the table. Memes fell out. Not just any memes but Putin memes and rare memes. America looked disappointed and hugged his brother, "I let down the commie..."

Mattie patted his brothers arm, "Stop being dramatic. We all know you didn't care if he got caught." America punched his brother in the arm for telling the truth. He looked at England who's mouth finally closed and he then glared at Canada, "Fine. Your off the hook America but your brother-" CRASH

Canada went the same way Russia did. America blinked confused, "What?"