DSMP Angst One Shots

Tubbo Angst (vent)

Just as a note, this is an au where Tommy and Tubbo live fairly close to one another. This hasn't been pre-read or whatever that word is. Also, for the love of everything, this is all platonic. I shouldn't even have to say this, but here I am. Everything. Is. Platonic. Anyways, thank you so much for almost 200 reads! It's really appreciated! TW- SUICIDAL IDEATION, SUICIDE, AND EMOTIONAL BREAKING

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TUBBO POV:

I was laughing loudly, with Tommy and Wilbur on the Dream SMP. For the first time in so long, I had finally felt... okay. It was hard to describe, but something just felt so right about what was happening. Of course, I was streaming, so I had to keep this act up even more than normal. Obviously, it was really draining me.

Without thinking, Tommy screeched, "Ha! No wonder your husband hates you! You're nothing more than a naive, obnoxious child!" I stopped moving completely and just stared at my screen. Did... did Tommy just actually say that? Ha, it was about time. No wonder he's been so weird lately. He hates me. I deserve it after all. He's right.

Snapping out of my daze, I hear Wilbur shouting his name. "Hmm?" I reply, very unenthusiastically. 

"Hey, are you okay? It's been like five minutes. Tommy already left, and I've been trying to get your attention. What's going on?"

I said nothing and just slowly blinked at my camera, realizing that I was actually still streaming. Without a single word uttered, I ended stream and left the SMP. There wasn't much of a point continuing right now. My best friend just hit a nerve, and that was it. I really couldn't take much more. "Ah, sorry Wil. I just got distracted was all. Tommy was a bit of a dick, but it's fine. He's always like that." I forced a smile, hoping that it would be even partially believable. 

"Tubbo, you didn't look okay..." Wilbur trailed off, trying to think of something to say: anything. 

I was barely keeping myself together. "I... I need to go Wil. My parents are calling me." Without letting him respond. I slowly stood from my chair and walked over to my bed. What's the point anymore really? My best friend hates me, and everyone else just thinks I'm pathetic. I can't live up to their expectations. Hell, I can't even live up to my own. I was just trying to find reasons to keep going, but there weren't any. After all, I'm just a naive, worthless kid, right? I laughed, not realizing how gravely my voice really was. My head was just pounding so badly. I need to go walk, and maybe things could just get better. 

TOMMY POV-

After Wilbur kicked me out of the call, I was just plain stunned. I thought Tubbo was going to laugh and say that was just me. I really did something wrong. I can't believe I did that. What the hell is wrong with me. I... I hurt my best friend. One of the only people I care about, and I decide to hurt him. Tears started streaming down my face. 

I couldn't stop them. They just kept coming and coming. I wanted to apologize, I needed to, but I was worried that I would lose him. He would see how truly weak I was, and push me away. I buried my hands in my head, ignoring my parents' loud yelling downstairs. I... failed him. I promised to always be there for him, but I failed him. Grabbing a light hoodie, I went out through a window in my room, and went on a quiet walk. Maybe my thoughts would calm down. 

The air felt heavy, but it didn't matter to me. Nothing really seemed to anymore. I hurt the person I cared most about, and there's nothing I can do. I already tried to apologize, but he just didn't respond. Looking at the pavement, I smiled, remembering all the fun moments we had. We were always laughing, we were always happy. I destroyed that. All of it. I'm worthless. I can't even be decent to those around me. With a smile still plastered on my face, tears started running down my face. I could fix this. I could. I just knew I really couldn't. There was no hope of me being able to.