Conquer

~20~

Photo by Dewang Gupta on Unsplash 

I wince. A nurse gives me an apologetic look before resuming stitching up my forearm. We won the battle, but it was a distraction from the true army making their way to the palace. I had never seen a more stressed Percy, as he paces back and forth with the other commanders, trying to figure out the best route back -- to the palace.

Many of the soldiers around me look hurt, but my wounds are barely visible. I cannot stop thinking about this Cruz woman, and her connection to Iytche -- the mysterious leader of this nightmarish army.

I lift my weary eyes to find Percy watching me with concern. He sits down, careful not to get in the way of the nurse. I haven't learned her name yet, as she seems almost afraid to talk to me. The worst part is, I understand why; I understand the feeling of fear and helplessness surrounding male company; I understand the knowledge that in this world one look is an unwelcome invitation.

Casting my eyes away from the nurse, I ask Percy, "We won."

"Not the war."

"Still." He sighs, slouching. I speak again, "Tell me what is bothering you."

"How're we going to make it in time? It takes two days to get to the palace, and Iytche is one day away. Worse, how're we going to beat them? Iytche has decimated half our armies, and we are the next one in line - practically waiting for death."

The weight of the situation settles over us. "Two days."

"Yep."

"Two days including rest?"

"Yep."

"How long without rest?" I ask, chewing my bottom lip.

His eyes track the movement. Percy clears his throat. "One day, give or take."

The future suddenly becomes very clear, and I know what I must do, what I must say, and how much of me is going to be lost for continuing to pretend to be Andrew Perch. Inhale. And -- "We leave now, then."

"Now? Andrew -- " Please just say Annabeth, I silently plead to a void that'll never be filled. He continues, unaware, " -- our army is hurt. We have men down, men dead, and men exhausted. Look at yourself, you need rest."

"I can rest when the kingdom is safe."

"I cannot rest until you rest," he says firmly.

This startles me, the sudden concern. But of course, it's not completely sudden. We've always had chemistry, we've always connected and cared for one another. And just for a moment, I feel he can see me.

But he always shakes it away.

I stand behind my opinion. "We need to leave."

"Andr - "

"No, I will leave whether you are coming or not." My voice cracks. "I have a family, and they are not safe right now. No one is safe."

Percy tries to speak again but I cut him off.

"Don't you understand?" I can practically feel the tears welling up inside me. Distantly, I gladly thank the Gods above for not having anyone in this military camp near us. "I can't sleep. I can't sleep knowing my family is in danger. I can't sleep with this coming battle, this fight that I was not prepared to enter."

By this point, I'm not even talking about the war.

"I can't sleep surrounded by friends who still don't know what weighs me down. Percy. I am sinking, so far, down, down, down into the ground." My voice warps in the midst of oncoming tears. "This armour is so heavy. This armour has become my prison. So, no, I can't sleep and wait idly by. We must leave. Now."

Percy stares at me, mouth partly open. I watch him too, nostrils failing to keep in my running snot and tears mixing down my dirt coated face. I am afraid. Afraid of what he may say next, what he is thinking right this second, and afraid of what he would think of me without armour.

I am afraid. 

Sorry for the wait! 

Have a great day/night wherever you are! - The Fangirl