James my beloved
Karl: Hewwo.
Lyaria: Hihiiiiii!
James: Greetings, Humans.
Butler: Three kinds of people.
Sir Billiam: I want pudding.
Karl: Four kinds of people.
Drew P Weiner: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Butler: Five kinds of people.
_-_NEXT_-_
Drew P Weiner: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Karl: Nope, absolutely not.
James: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Sir Billiam: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Butler: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Lyaria: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
_-_NEXT_-_
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Karl: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Lyaria: ...I did. I broke it.
Karl: No. No, you didn't. Lord Sebastion?
Lord Sebastion: Don't look at me. Look at Sir Billiam.
Sir Billiam: What?! I didn't break it.
Lord Sebastion: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Sir Billiam: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Lord Sebastion: Suspicious.
Sir Billiam: No, it's not!
Butler: If it matters, probably not, but Drew P Weiner was the last one to use it.
Drew P Weiner: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Butler: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Drew P Weiner: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Butler!
Lyaria: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Karl.
Karl: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Butler: Karl... James's been awfully quiet.
James: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Karl, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Karl: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Karl:
Karl: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
_-_NEXT_-_
Lyaria: Just be yourself.
Karl: 'Be myself'? Lyaria, I have one day to win James over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Butler: Couple weeks.
Drew P Weiner: Six months.
Sir Billiam: Jury's still out.
Karl: See, Lyaria?
Karl: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?
_-_NEXT_-_
Karl: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Lyaria: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Karl: Yes!
James: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
_-_NEXT_-_
James: Karl and I don't use pet names.
Lyaria: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
James: Honey?
Karl: Yes, dear?
James:
Lyaria: Don't ever lie to my face again.
_-_NEXT_-_
Karl: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is because you're not going to like it
Oliver: Just rip the bandage off.
Karl: It's James.
Oliver: Put the bandage back on.
_-_NEXT_-_
James: Schrödinger's cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that's both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
_-_NEXT_-_
James: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck
_-_NEXT_-_
Sir Billiam: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is typically a good response.
_-_NEXT_-_
Oliver: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.
_-_NEXT_-_
Butler: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
_-_NEXT_-_
James: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Karl: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!?
James: No! Four to five seconds!
Karl: Too late!!!
_-_NEXT_-_
*Karl and James skipping stones on lake*
Karl: It's such a beautiful evening.
James, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
