Leave Me Lonely || Luke Hemmings

Kaylee-26

A loud groan erupted from my lungs as I tossed angrily in my bed, my covers hanging haphazardly around my sweaty body. I flailed my feet, kicking them back and forth in frustration. I was so incredibly sick of this whole not being able to sleep without him thing. 

For some reason his mother had allowed him to stay with me over Thanksgiving break- which just reinforced this whole 'he's gotta be sleeping next to me bullshit'. I hated not being able to sleep for more than a solid hour at a time, simply because there were no arms wrapped around me and there was no added heat from an extra body. I especially hated it because not being able to sleep without him meant this attachment was truly getting out of hand. 

This was the fourth day in row, since Liz had made him go home, that I found myself tossing and turning relentlessly in the same bed that I used to be able to sleep for 12 hours straight. I had even swallowed my pride and asked my mom if I could use her body pillow- to which she had made countless jokes- but even that didn't work. I was seriously debating spraying the fabric with his cologne so I could trick myself into sleep. Though I knew it wouldn't work- a pillow couldn't wrap itself around me or squeeze me tighter to make sure there was no space between us. A pillow had no heartbeat that I could listen to intently, and certainly couldn't press feather light kisses into my skin. 

I had been a zombie all week- and people had definitely noticed. My coach had asked me question after question all week- even today, as I walked into homeroom. I had tried to hide the circles under my eyes, but it didn't matter how much concealer I used, the bags under my eyes were there to stay. 

I was slow and lethargic as I went through the motions- making it to all my classes even though I did little to even attempt paying attention. My mind had suddenly become riddled with thoughts of how this was all going to go over in two weeks time. That was all we had until we got a week and a half of for winter break. And even though we only got a week and a half off, Luke would be gone for two weeks total. And not only would he be gone for two weeks, but he would be on the opposite side of the world. 

I was starting to understand why he had tried to push me away only a week ago. 

I absolutely hated that I could understand where he was coming from- but only because everything he had said made sense. He wasn't staying in the US, and he made that abundantly clear. There wasn't going to be anything to change his mind- even me, and in only a short few months he would be gone. He would be gone- back home with his friends and his brothers... and I would be alone. 

I tried to shake the thought from my head, knowing that we couldn't stay away from each other if we tried. It would be better for us to make the time we had together count, even it that meant it would hurt worse later on. We were temporary, and I was just going to have to be okay with that. 

I had Luke pulled halfway across the center console of my car as I refused to let him go- trying to focus on the way his lips folded over mine instead of the nagging voice in my head reminding me that this wouldn't last. I gripped his shoulders tightly, biting gently on his bottom lip as he began to pull back. 

"Can't you just stay with me?" I whined, dreading yet another night of tossing and turning alone in my bed. The days seemed to go by faster, as though the universe just wanted the night to come back and cause my endless suffering. I was physically exhausted and I just wished Liz would let him stay the night at least once a week. Didn't she know that we had limited time together and I needed all the time with him that I could get. 

"I wish, baby girl, I wish." He chuckled, shaking his head as he squeezed my hand tightly. I frowned lightly as he pressed his lips gently against my jaw, pulling back to send me a sheepish grin before slipping out of my car.