dangerous lover (fred weasley x reader)

chapter 5: erins secret

a/n: there is use of self harm so if you don't want to read this skip this one or skip to the summary.

erins pov:

nobody knows this about me, but i have been harming myself: cutting, starving all because i don't think i'm beautiful. but fred keeps reminding me that i am and i tell him that i believe him but in all honesty i don't. i look at myself in the mirror and i see ugly. i see a disappointment, but everyone keeps telling me to keep my head up and that i am beautiful and amazing and gorgeous. i haven't eaten in about a week now, fred hasn't noticed but i haven't eaten in 7 days because i'm trying to lose weight. some girls run around the castle before class but i did the easiest way i could find: starve myself. i know that doesn't sound good, but i have to find some way out of this fat i have on my body. i don't like it. i want it gone. i hate for fred to look at my body and not see abs or a flat stomach.

fred's pov:

i walk into the great hall and i see hermoine but not erin. where is she?

"hey have you seen erin"

"no i'm worried for her" hermoine answered.

"why"

"haven't you noticed? she hasn't eaten in a week? she doesn't talk to anyone anymore and she's been covering herself up a lot? we can't talk to her because she doesn't want to listen or tell us what's really going on"

my face dropped. she's not eating and she's covering herself up more? is she hurting herself? i have to see her.

"uh i have to go" i ran off sprinting to her dorm. please baby don't be hurt. please please please.

erins pov:

i walked to my drawer and grabbed the razor blade.

"please go away fat"

i grabbed my wrist and started cutting. the pain was so much i screamed. i grabbed my wand and spelled the door locked and to be quiet so my screams couldn't be heard by anyone. i screamed in agonizing tears and pain. i cut myself enough down my arm where i created a 1 in blood. i cut my arm and my leg like that. i stood up thinking the pain would ease but it didn't it worsened. it all got worse when i heard the door try and open.

"erin! open up"

i knew that voice too well. it was fred.

"please, love open the door. i know what's going on. talk to me. please" i heard him outside quietly sobbing. was he really worried about me.

"i-i-i can't. i h-have to" i sobbed inside my dorm room. i tried cutting my other arm when fred unlocked the door and rushed over to me. he looked at all the blood. i knew he didn't like the blood but he didn't want to see me like this.

"erin why are you doing this to yourself" he slowly took the blade out of my hand. i tried getting it back but he didn't give it back.

"because fred. i'm ugly. i walk around school and i see these beautiful girls and i look at myself and i just can't handle it. all the other guys i've been with: blaise, pucey they've all told me that they hated my body and they hated when i didn't work out. so i took the easy way out: cutting. starving myself. i understand if you don't want to be with someone like me anymore" at this point i'm sitting in front of the door holding myself sobbing, my whole face full of tears, and the blood now oozing out of my body where i cut myself. he tried walking up to me but i moved.

"erin i need to clean you up please. i wont hurt you i promise" he very slowly wrapped his arm around me as she placed my head on his shoulder and just cried. i needed to cry and let it all out.

after a while, i finally stopped and i walked to the bathroom and got a warm rag for fred.

"h-here. just be careful please"

"of course baby" he picked me up bridal style and sat me on the bathroom counter, he stood in front of me and looked at my thighs. i could see the sadness in his eyes when he seen what i had done to myself. he slowly started to rub the rag along my leg. i winced at the pain and i grabbed his hand. he finished cleaning me up and he looked at me. i couldn't look at him. i could see the disappointment in his face. i looked down and he slowly brought my face up with his finger.

"baby. why? you are absolutely gorgeous. and i'm not just saying this because i'm your boyfriend. i'm saying it because your absolutely beautiful, have you seen the people that stare at you because of how freaking hot you are!? your stunning and you do this. i'm not mad or disappointed i'm just hurt because you didn't tell me about it i could've tried to help you sweetheart" he kissed my forehead and brought me into a hug. i felt so safe and my body loosened up. i heard him sigh really hard in relief. i hated to upset him. but i knew i had to stop this because this was not good for me.

"babe. i'm" i sniffed " i'm gonna try and stop this. i'm gonna work out and"

"i don't care if you work out or not your still gonna be my beautiful erin" he kissed my forehead and then my cheek. he helped me cover all the cuts and then i walked back to my dorm for the rest of the evening.

gosh, i love that boy so darn much

summary: erin has been cutting for two years now and fred finds out and doesn't know how to help you so he lets you cry on his shoulder and he admits he is worried about you and he helps you get taken care of and you tell him that your gonna try and start working out and not doing anymore of this even though it will be really really hard to do.

a/n: okay hi i'm sorry for taking so long to post another i've been so stressed with school and my eocs coming up but i'm gonna try and post more this weekend and post on my other story also. love you guys and so God❤️