Forgiveness

III. The snap

Life in Wakanda went on. To be honest since this is mostly about everything after Thanos's defeat so there isn't much for me to add here. Not that I want to recall it anyways.

The battle against Thanos happened. Since we were all separated we couldn't win. The fight in Wakanda was tough and we were no match for the titan and his infinity stones. We couldn't stop him as he completed his mission and "snapped". Luckily for me (or unfortunately I'm not so sure it was lucky) I didn't get snapped but I had to watch my friends Bucky and Sam and T'Challa too, disappear. So all my closest friends were gone. I was devastated.

After the Snap we each coped in different ways. Tried to find a solution, but with no avail. That is until Tony despite our differences figured out a way we could try and fix everything. Time travel. That was our magical solution. And it worked. We won the next fight. We won but at what cost

The only clear memory of the fight I have is Tony having the infinity gauntlet. Him saying he is Iron Man and snapping. That was the end. We had lost Natasha before on our hunt for the infinity stones and now Tony was gone as well. We were all devastated. Then Steve got the idea to return the stones to their rightful places in time but I could see it in his eyes. He wasn't planning on coming back, not really, he wanted to be with his girl - Peggy. He wanted to live his life and in a way I felt betrayed but I understood. If I could I too would go back in time and try to be happy with the person I...care about.

Bucky and Sam said their goodbyes with Steve and he left. For us it was only a few seconds but when he was back Steve was...old. He seemed content with the life he had lived in those seconds which were years for him.

"Only thing bumming me out is the fact I have to live in a world without Captain America." Sam says as he sits next to Steve.

"Oh, That reminds me." Steve brings out his shield and tells him to try it on. Sam looks over to Bucky and I. We nod, and Sam holds Steve's shield. "How does it feel?"

"Like it's someone else's."

"It isn't." Sam tries to hold back tears and accepts the shield promising to do his best.

Later on Sam and I went our separate ways. Everything was disorganized. Bucky didn't really want me to stay with him but I did anyway. I wanted to make sure he was alright after Steve left, like it or not Bucky was my best friend and I wasn't going to let him face everything alone.

I was there for him during his nightmares. He helped me with mine. Mine were mostly about my time in HYDRA as well or my powers. Or Zemo. The last time I used my abilities was during the final fight with Thanos and I blamed myself for not being able to save Tony. And Natasha. I was with Clint and her on Vormir. I hated the thought of using them again. And I hated the thought of hurting people again.

Bucky and I had gotten pardoned for our crimes with Hydra and I started a job with the FBI. Bucky and I had to see this therapist as a part of his pardon deal thing. It was annoying for me to say the least. She wasn't helping us at all and I hated the sessions.

We found out in the news that Sam gave the shield back to the state. Bucky was furious. Personally I couldn't fully get angry at Sam. I knew what the shield represented to Bucky, and how much he cared about Steve, of course I did too but I understood Sam was just trying to do his best. I know he didn't believe he would ever be worthy of the shield. Even though he was.

Bucky and I were also together as we saw the new Captain America introduced on TV holding Steve's shield. Bucky was angry to say the least. I was shocked and confused. I tried to talk to Bucky but he wouldn't let me and stormed out to find Sam. I tried to go with him but he was long gone and so I gave up. I had somewhere to be anyway. To see Zemo.