Forgiveness

6.2. Feelings

~ Meanwhile Sam and Bucky at the party~

"Where did they go? I can't see them." Bucky had seen Y/N head into the dancefloor and now she was nowhere to be seen and neither was Zemo. He didn't like the suspicion that he had been having ever since yesterday.

He knew at one point he would have to openly ask her about all that as his mind travels back to all the letters Zemo wrote to her during his time in prison. Letters that Bucky had hidden in an attempt to make Y/N forget Zemo, but an attempt which had clearly failed. There was something unresolved there from their past and Bucky's dislike of Zemo couldn't stop it from resulting in the two of them forgiving each other.

"Oh relax, it's a giant room full of people." Sam replies with slight annoyance. Of course he wasn't a fan of this whole thing to begin with, he never wanted Zemo out of prison, but Bucky was overreacting and not focusing on the task at hand.

Not that Sam would be ecstatic at the thought of his friend having a thing for Zemo, but right now he couldn't focus on that, he was trying to keep his head in the game. If it did come to that he would let his opinion be known without causing too much conflict, and trying to stop Bucky from doing something stupid. Y/N was smart enough to make her own decisions and do what she felt was right to her or whatever she had to do.

He did not like Zemo at all, but from what Y/N had told them all after the Civil War events he used to be someone different before going down his revenge path. Also despite all his flaws and... evillness he did seem like he cared about her and he was different when talking to her so for now Sam wasn't all that concerned.

"Fine, but if something has happened I'll blame you." Sam rolls his eyes at Bucky and just ignores him, waiting for Sharon to tell them she's got something...

~ Back to Zemo and Y/N~

With Zemo's hands still wrapped around me, closing me in between his chest and the wall he presses a kiss to my jawline. I hold onto his arm for support, feeling my knees ready to give out on me. Zemo notices, but that only seems to make him smile as he trailed kisses down my collar bone, pressing softly on a spot on my shoulder, leaving a mark.

"You are beautiful, my dove." My stomach fluttered as his voice took me out of my trance.

"Well thank you, baron, you aren't so bad yourself." Zemo smirks. I knew it. He liked it when I called him that. All of a sudden however our moment is interrupted by Sharon's voice coming from outside.

"Hey, love birds, I found Dr. Nagel. Come out before they notice you're in there." I chuckle slightly at Zemo's disappointed expression. Giving him a quick peck on the lips I fix my hair and straighten out my dress. We came out of the room, looking to see if anyone was there but there seemed to be no one.

We join the others in the living room of Sharon's apartment. Bucky glares at Zemo walking in behind me, but I ignore it.

"So what's up?" I ask and Sharon tells us that she has found Dr Nagel. Time to find out more about this new super soldier serum. Bucky and I exchange looks and he motions for me to talk to him outside. We tell the others we will be right back and head out. "What's wrong, Buck?"

"What's going on between you and Zemo?" Taking a deep breath I look at Bucky. I knew he was suspecting something, it's not like Zemo and I were very subtle at times.

I knew this would hurt him - Zemo had turned him into the Winter Soldier for a time, framed him for the UN bombings and had broken up the Avengers, but with time I had come to forgive him and he clearly understood what he had done.

So as difficult as it was to accept at first I couldn't keep fighting my feelings for Zemo and pushing them away. "Buck, look I... nothing is going on. But..."

Bucky interrupts me before I think of what to say. "But you love him."

My eyes widen, hoping that Zemo wasn't secretly listening to us or something.

"I...Well I don't know... Buck here's the thing. You don't have to be fine with this. I know what Zemo has done, but when I'm with him he's different. He cares and I can't think clearly when he's here. Despite all I can't help, but have feelings for him and... our past is complicated, he's complicated and I know this makes me the worst friend ever but..."

"You could've told me." Bucky's words make me let out a stiff laugh.

"Seriously, Buck? You hate Zemo! You've been glaring at him the whole time since we've been on this mission. I know you hate the idea of him and I, but he wouldn't hurt me, Buck. I know him better than you do." Bucky seems to contemplate my words for a while and then nods, studying my face.

"I was a means to an end for him, his grief had consumed him. I can understand that."

"You're defending him now?" My confusion is evident, because Bucky chuckles.

"Not exactly... I don't know. I still dislike him and don't fully trust him, but I can see how he cares about you." Nodding at Bucky I stay quiet for a while. I knew this wasn't the right time to ask about my letters.

We had barely come to an understanding and I didn't want to ruin it by accusing him of lying to me and hiding them from me. Another thing we would probably have to discuss at one point is the fact that during those 5 years this wasn't the first time Zemo was free and not the first time in which we had seen each other.

But I didn't think Bucky was ready for that conversation right now, plus we didn't have time. I was grateful that he at least partly understood me. Those conversations were inevitable but they could wait.

Sharon calls for us from inside and we head back in. Sam looks at me and mouths an "Are you alright?". I nod at him and give him a small smile, standing next to Zemo who only briefly caresses my hand. I hold onto him for a few seconds as we get ready and leave to go find the doctor.