Forgiveness

7.3. Time together

"Zemo?"

"Yes, dear?" I smile, my head resting on his chest as his arms tighten around my waist. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask what I was about to ask but here I was anyways. Why wasn't I sure of it yet, even after everything so far. I was just scared that when the time came Zemo would run rather than stay.

"You really meant it right? What you said in Madripoor?" A pang of hurt seems to cross his face, but he smiles at me as well and kisses my forehead.

"I did. I do. I'd do anything for you to believe me." His tone is quite sad and it makes me frown. I didn't mean to make him doubt how I feel about him I was just scared.

"No, I do. It's just...I'm scared, Helmut. People keep leaving I don't want to lose you too." Zemo nods understandingly and suddenly leans back onto the couch so that I'm sitting with my back pressed against him. Chuckling I give him a questioning look as I turn my head.

"You've been very tense lately." His hands move down to my waist with soft motions and I breathe out. "I will not leave you, love. You need to relax." Zemo's touch is gentle, a feeling of security and relaxation engulfs me as both his hands just go over my back. His motions continue until he reaches a spot just under my neck, near my shoulder. It's tense for some reason and I hadn't noticed it until just then. "Does it hurt?"

"No, no...it's great." Zemo chuckles at my words and gently rubs the spot. I whimper as he does so.

"If it does hurt stop me." I nod with a smile and Zemo continues. I let out a sharp breath I hadn't realize I was holding in. I'm surprised at how gentle his hands are and it makes me let out a sigh of both relief and a little hurt. Zemo chuckles. "Liked that, did you?"

"Oh shut up." I laugh, closing my eyes to just focus on and enjoy the time that we had together. When Zemo's massage ends I lay back onto his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair. "Thank you."

"Anytime, dear." Being here, cuddled up next to Zemo made me forget about all the problems that were around us. I could stop thinking about the Flag Smashers, Bucky keeping a secret from me, having to probably encounter John Walker and the fact that the Wakandans were going to come for Zemo. I knew choosing to be with him wasn't an easy ride, but I cared about him so much and couldn't just let it go. "I'll go take a shower. Would you care to join me?" Rolling my eyes I shake my head.

"I'm too tired to move I'll just rest here." Zemo pouts like a disappointed child and it makes me laugh. He waves at me as he heads into the bathroom. I sit up only to take my bag from the floor and pull out my phone. Leaning back onto the couch I start scrolling through the news.

I read about Karli blowing up a building and it makes me shiver. If she was trying to get people's support that wasn't the way to do it. I didn't know what to think about her at this point, I got that she believed she was doing good, but I feared she was going to go off the rails. I was hoping we could somehow talk her out of it but I wasn't too sure about it.

Next I focused my attention on an article about John Walker. I refused to call him Captain America, that title didn't belong to him. I wasn't all too excited about encountering him but if we did I wasn't going to let him stand in our way. If he tried to take Zemo away from me or do something to put my friend in danger he was going to see just what I'm capable of.

About 30 minutes later Zemo appears out of the bathroom in a robe, drying his hair with a towel.

God why did he have to look so stunning like that. My eyes linger on his chest and then focus on his hair. He throws the towel on one of the chairs and turns towards me with a smirk. "Like what you see?"

"Oh shut up, Helmut." Zemo chuckles and sits next to me after grabbing some candy. I lean into him and smoothen out his hair, one of my hands resting on his chest. As I move back onto my spot he hands me another Turkish Delight. With a soft smile I take it but notice the slight sadness in Zemo's eyes as he does so. "You really like the candy huh?"

"It was my son's favorite." I frown, memories of Sokovia flooding my mind. I squeeze Zemo's hand and give him a reassuring smile. A part of me still felt partly responsible for Zemo's pain and I wanted to be there for him as much as I could.

"Tell me about him...if you want to of course." Zemo takes a deep breath and holds my hand tighter, softly pulling me into his chest as his arms wrap around me.

"Carl had a sweet tooth just as I did. My wife did not enjoy me constantly giving him candy but I couldn't help myself." Chuckling I hold Zemo's hand tightly as he continues telling me stories about his son. "I always had a picture of him when I worked with the kill squad... He was a big fan of Iron Man you know." My smile falters, Carl was only 4 when he died.

"I know. I'm sorry, Helmut." Zemo places a kiss on the top of my head and I sigh.

"I know, darling...When I found him I couldn't believe it. All the moments with him flashed before my eyes, everything was ripped away and left me shallow. The only thing on my mind was revenge." I nod and tears prickle in my eyes as I listen to Zemo's broken voice talking about his loss. I felt terrible about everything that had happened to him. I had met him in one of the worst times in his life and I didn't help much with my secrecy. "You know you never told me much about your past."

"You know my Hydra nickname." I question with unease.

"I do but that's quite easy to find out if you know the right people. I care about how you felt not what they called you."

"It's...it's just difficult to talk about it, Helmut." Zemo nods understandingly and proceeds to rub soothing circles on my palm. "They took me when I was young, my parents believed HYDRA would use my ability to save the world." I laugh bitterly at that statement. "We know how wrong that is. They...experimented on me with all of these machines I don't even know how to describe. It felt like they were drilling into my head with some of them. It hurt so much and when I refused to do something  they would electrocute me and torture me in...other ways." My voice trembles as memories of those days hit me all at once, I stifle a sob and Zemo pulls me into his chests. My arms go around his neck and I breathe out.

"It's alright, my dove, I'm not forcing you to talk to me about anything." Nodding I breathe in the smell of Zemo's cologne and smile.

"You know sandalwood was always my favorite smell. When did you start using it?" Zemo chuckles at my change of subject.

"After you mentioned you liked it when I brought you to that shop in Paris." His words make me grin, the fact that he remembered something I had just randomly mentioned was quite honestly heartwarming.

"You know when HYDRA made me a super soldier I thought I could finally escape them but then they partnered me with Bucky. We became close and well knowing me I couldn't just leave knowing I can't help him." Zemo nods and leans back onto the couch with me laying on him. He reaches for a book on the table and looks at me as if to ask for permission.

"Should I read to you? Perhaps it'll help you relax."

"Yes, please." Zemo grins and starts reading. He doesn't get really far into the book when my eyes slowly close and I drift off to sleep...