Serenity [Book 2]

Chapter 11: *familiar feelings*

Francesca's POV:

I take my hat off for the people that can do this without feeling completely nauseas.

I'm stood in front of the mirror in my room, wearing the red lingerie I've had on all day underneath my jeans, absolutely bricking it as I fluff my hair. It's so frizzy with the humidity, and I'm tempted to just put it up in a bun, but I know it won't look as good. I don't even know if I look good as it is now.

I hate being insecure.

"Come on, Francesca. You've got this. You are hot, you're mind is just lying to you." Yeah, I wish it was as simple as that. "Fuck it."

I grab my lip gloss from atop of my bed, reapplying it before taking a deep breath and shrugging on my robe. I'm not ready for this, but will I ever? I'm done procrastinating.

Everyone's downstairs, Matt made sure of that for me, and Ethan is in his room, he had followed me upstairs beforehand. I would be lying if I said I weren't nervous because I am. I'm really putting myself out there right now, and I'm terrified that he'll reject me.

I take one last deep breath, composing myself before I open my door and I take the silent walk down to his bedroom. There's no turning back now.

My knuckle brushes the door and I curse under my breath before knocking on it properly. I pull my robe closed, making sure it stays that way, and a few seconds later, it opens. Ethan stands there, his boxers hanging low, his v-line more prominent than the last time I really saw him – I tend to ignore what he looks like to save my sanity.

"Hey." Ethan greets.

"Hi." I whisper, toying with my fingers.

"You wanna come in?" He asks, and I nod shyly. I hate this already, I'm acting like I've never seen him before in my life. I hate this. This isn't me.

He shuts the door behind us and I take a seat on his bed whereas he just steps on it and walks over to his place.

"You're going to break it one day." I warn him and he laughs, sitting down next to me.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, getting comfortable.

"Um, I feel okay. I feel good. I felt trapped before – claustrophobic, now I feel free. I don't know, I just know I feel good right now." I say, choosing not to tell him how nervous I am because of what I'm planning.

"That's great, baby." He says.

"It was hard, but I'm glad they all know." I say, giving him a smile.

"I didn't expect you to, I was quite shocked. I'm incredibly proud of you though." He smiles.

"Thank you, I appreciate that." I say sincerely. "Um, how are you?"

"Good. I'm good. How are you?" He asks, trying to act casually. Key word; trying.

"You already asked that." I chuckle, smiling at him.

"Yeah, yeah I did, didn't I?" He awkwardly brushes the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, am I making this weird or are we just weird? No, wait, no. You're not weird. Oh fuck off."

"Just be quiet." I laugh, enjoying his awkward state a little more than I think he'd like. "It doesn't have to be weird."

"Francesca... I don't know what to do. What are we doing? Where is your head at? Are we friends? Do you want us to carry on being just friends?" He asks all these questions, and before I can let my mind spiral, trying to answer one of them, I kiss him. I grasp the back of his neck, pull him down to me, and kiss him. He kisses me back, cupping my cheek, keeping it slow and steady.