not my problem. - 𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐯

thirty three

SEOJUN

Once again, JangMi had collapsed because of me.

When it comes to entertainment people say I have a Midas touch.  Any song I sing, book I read, or meal I eat blows up within seconds.  The clothes I wear sell out just as quickly; everything that comes into contact with my hands seems to turn to gold. 

It seemed however, that when it came to JangMi that Midas touch became a touch of tragedy and destruction - instead of making her bloom and flourish I had almost caused her to wither away forever.

JangMi was so exhausted after confronting me that she didn't wake up until the late morning.  The doctors suggested it was better she didn't see anyone at all for a while since she was still in a state of shock - courtesy of what had been revealed about her past.

In the end, almost everyone had been forced to leave; partly because only 4 people were meant to be visiting an intensive care patient at any given time but also because once news spread of JangMi's admission into hospital, fans had begun to gather outside.  Considering everyone apart from SuHo was a celebrity - if they left the news to spread any further, it would have been impossible to get them out of the hospital safely and discreetly.

I'd thought about leaving, but in the end I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I had to stay by her side until she got out - even if she didn't want to see me.

TaeHyung, SuHo and JooHeon understandably hadn't left either, and around 10am JungKook returned with a change of clothes for both Tae and I since we were still in our outfits from the Baeksaeng Awards.

TaeHyung hadn't even looked at me twice since JangMi blacked out last night.  His scorn was really unlike anything I'd ever seen, and he'd internalised most of it, keeping his own company for the most part (though he'd spent some time with JungKook, too).

"You look a lot better now you aren't still in yesterday's clothes."

SuHo was currently the only person who had really communicated with me throughout the ordeal. The only person who had done it with kindness and friendly intent, at least.

"I still feel just as bad, though."

"She'll come around, SeoJun."

I wasn't so sure about that... but something about his tone was reassuring, and I felt as if I could trust his words.

"I almost killed your sister, SuHo-Ah.  Shouldn't you be beating me up rather than trying to make me feel better?"

He chuckled a little at my question, the corners of his lips upturning. 

"Hmm... I guess I should." He acknowledged.  "But I've only knowingly been her older brother for a few hours.  I've been your friend for nearly 7 years."

"How do you feel about that by the way?" I asked, realising I'd completely ignored how the news must have affected him.  "JangMi being your sister and all."

"I'm a little hurt." He admitted.  "Not for myself but... thinking that he was having an affair while my mum was still alive...  it was bad enough that he did it while she was barely six feet under, but a child while she was still earth-side with us?" He said, emphasising his last word.  "Even though my Eomma is dead already... she's still so pitiful.  I just wonder if she knew."

I nodded understandingly, patting his shoulder to show my support.  "Do you think you can forgive your Appa?  For lying as long as he did?"

SuHo shrugged, exhaling deeply.  "I really don't know." He answered.  "To be honest, I'm more disappointed about what he did to JangMi than about what he did to me.  How someone can be so evil as to abandon their own child...  it's really beyond me."