love or host - tommyinnit

chapter 39- don't go back

(hey guys there was an issue with publishing this i'm so sorry but i figured it out and here's the chapter LOL I HOPE YOU ENJOY)

tommy and i walk through the crowded area of the park. there are a bunch of couples here, which means lots of pda. i squirm slightly at the sight.

without warning, tommy reaches for my hand. my eyes widen slightly, but i intertwine my fingers with his.

so now he's suddenly confident after hardly being able to make eye contact with me a few minutes ago?

i bite the inside of my cheek in thought.

what were we?

will we ever be anything?

or are we something already?

i shake my head. i can't be thinking about this right now.

"i've been here once before," tommy says, turning his head towards me.

"with a girl? making out with her under the trees?" i tease. tommy groans.

"yeah, you know i haven't done that. i was with my dog, for god's sake." he laughs.

"ewww, making out with your DOG under the trees? okay shan-"

"what the FUCK valerie?" he lets out a wheeze. "no! there was no snogging involved! at all!"

"i was just teasing you, tommy, calm down." i elbow his side.

"whatever, arsehole."

"arsehole." i snicker.

"you americans suck."

"you're still stuck with me for another few days, though." i sigh as soon as i say this. going home was a subject i'd been avoiding thinking about, let alone talking about.

"i don't like that," tommy says, looking straight ahead as we continue to walk.

"don't like what?"

"that you're leaving."

"i don't want to leave, if we're being honest..."

"then don't."

"huh?" we both stop walking and i look up at him. we're under some trees with beautiful flowers at our feet. "what do you mean?"

"don't go back to america. stay here. we could move into an apartment or something together, i'll stream a lot and beg extra hard for primes so i could pay our bills, you could get a job at the little bakery nearby the apartment complex if you wanted to get a job, not that you would have to. we could get a dog, a husky! i know you love huskies. and we could-"

"tommy," i interrupt, halting his train of thought. he turns his head to me, eyebrows raised.

"hm?"

"i'm still in school."

"yeah. as am i."

"my school is in america."

"transfer to my college for the rest of the year. then we could go to university together."

"i can't."

"why not?"

"my mom and dad are also in america."

"you can visit them during the holidays. i'll go with you!"

i sigh as i reach to grab tommy's fingers. he jumps as my finger grazes him and he pulls away. i scoff.

"really?" i ask.

"w-what?" he replies, scratching the back of his head.

"you say things like that to me, you tell me you never want me to leave, you want us to move in together, go to school together. we hold hands and hug and turn red at each other's words, but at the drop of a hat you stop caring and can't even stand the touch of my skin."

"what are you talking-"

"what am i to you, tommy?" i demand, tears threatening to spill. "i can't stand being left in the dark anymore."

i look down at the ground, because i know if i look into his eyes the water works will start. tommy inhales deeply.

"you're joking, right? you really don't know why i'm nervous?" he asks after a moment of silence.

"nervous? psh, yeah right."

"i'm VERY fucking nervous right now, actually."

"what are you even talking-"

"jesus christ, valerie. for a smart girl, you can be so dense sometimes." tommy rolls his eyes and sighs.

my breathing stops and my heart pounds. i look up at tommy and he's looking back at me. he squints his icy blue eyes, glistening in the sun.

"val, ever since that love or host," he says gently. "i knew there was something about you. something that drew me in. something that begged for me to get to know you. something that PLEADED for me to get close to you."

"what do you mean..?" i ask, a lot more quietly than i intended.

"you're perfect. you came into my life and made me realize that there IS something to this life. more than just minecraft, streaming, and screaming at your friends. you made me understand a whole new aspect of life." he lets in a slow inhale, as if he's nervous to continue. i plead with my eyes for him to say more.

"feelings. i now know what romantic feelings are like."

i let out a small gasp.

"i really like you, val. more than a friend should."

i start to play with the plastic ring on my finger. the one we got together at the arcade. the one tommy also has on his finger.

tommy looks at his feet.

"and i get it if you don't like me back, and i'm really sorry if this ruined our friendship, this really doesn't have to change anything, but i had to tell you because i knew i'd regret it if i didn't-"

"i really like you too, tommy," i blurt out. tommy's head snaps back up as he looks at me.

"you... do?"

"how could i not..?" i barely whisper. i look up and smile softly. "it's funny, i used to wonder 'why did i want to audition for that love or host so badly? why was i so ecstatic when i won?' then we met up. and i started thinking 'why does my heart beat so fast around him? why do i get butterflies every time i see him smile? why do i blush every time he looks at me?'"

"and..?"

"and i figured out why. it's because i like you. a lot." i laugh. "more than a friend should." i repeat his words. tommy grins widely as he encloses me into the tightest embrace i've ever felt. i bury my face into his chest, trying to hold back tears. tommy pulls away and looks at me.

"can i... uh..." he starts, looking at my lips.

"yeah. please do," i say with a smile. and with that, tommy leans down and gently presses his lips on mine.

it's everything i hoped for it to be.

it was gentle, sweet, full of love-

wait.

holy shit.

did i just say..?

i smile into the kiss. no way.

i'm in love with tommyinnit.

wow. about time i admitted it.

(A/N hey... lol... IT FINALLY HAPPENED! ONLY TOOK THEM 39 CHAPTERS! so yes here is the talerie/valerieinnit kiss we've all been waiting for [i've seen both of those ship names in the comments and honestly idk which one i like better]. so anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this, i hope i served, i hope this kiss lived up to your expectations HAHAHA and also, i'm not positive, but i might be inactive for about a week? idrk but i have finals literally next week and... ya know. kinda have to do well on those. i'll try to publish chapters but i might not be able to so please bare with me! hopefully this chapter was enough to satisfy you guys for at least a little while in case i really do have to take a break. but i love you guys so much, thank you for everything. you mean the world to me. please consider voting, commenting, sharing, and adding this story to your reading lists! i hope you all have a fantastic day! <3)