Inside Her Mind.

Fabricated

I no longer remember
Whether I smile at the camera because I was taught to do so.
Or because
I want to

I can't recall whether what I feel is real
Or was it fabricated
Because
I was tired of feeling numb.

I can't recall the last time I saw you
Were you even real?
An illusion?
And was our love too?

You lightly brush away my question with a smile.
Putting me to sleep
To ease my mind.

But I wake up to an empty bed
You weren't there last night.
My mind only made you up,
To fill a dark void.

You were long gone.
And my being knew it.
But when the heart has lost,
And the mind doesn't except.

Insanity slowly sets in,
Makes me see things I don't wish.
There is no escape-
When I close my eyes it's more vivid.

But if insanity is where you haven't left.
Then that is where you'll find me.
In the same covers of our shared bed.
In that reality that will never be.