Chapter 8

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When I had rushed into Neil's room last night he was unconscious again, doctors and nurses were hovering over him, poking and prodding over his body

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When I had rushed into Neil's room last night he was unconscious again, doctors and nurses were hovering over him, poking and prodding over his body.

My mind had switched into an instant panic mode when I saw that his eyes were closed, but the doctor had turned around and given me a warm smile. "He didn't stay awake for long, but this is an encouraging sign."

It was. He was breathing on his own again, he was healing. It was all I could have hoped for, but I still couldn't fully believe it. I don't think I'd believe it until I could look into his deep blue eyes again.

The next 24 hours had been the worst. The little hope that was building inside me was painful and scary. I had an irrational fear that it would be snatched away from me.

Ash was high on her own dose of positivity and she couldn't stop herself from trying to spread it. It was mildly annoying to listen to her.

Avi just quietly sat in a chair alone, in the corner of the waiting room, his head bowed, his hands running through his thick mop of dark hair over and over again, like he was trying to find something in there. It was mildly exhausting to watch him.

As for me, it had been impossible to not let my mind race in circles. I couldn't stop blaming myself, torturing myself with all the what-ifs.

What if he didn't wake up, again?

I shouldn't have had that fight with Neil.

I should have made an effort to mend things between us.

I should have told Neil not to drive through the rain in the middle of the freaking night to get to me.

I should have done...something. Anything.

And my own thought process was both annoying and exhausting me to no end.

But soon everything had come to a screeching halt when Ash had woken me up this morning from my spot in the waiting room, with the biggest smile on her face.

Neil was awake, talking, and breathing. He was alive and for the first time in what seemed like ages, he looked like it.

And now I stood at his bedside, completely dumbstruck.

Though I had dreamed and hoped for this very moment for so long, I couldn't find any words to say now that the moment was finally here. Now that he was awake.

Grief had become my new normal, and now, anything less than heartache or constant fear felt like I was missing the bottom step even when my feet were already on the ground.

I didn't have to lie and pretend anymore. I was shocked and relieved, so damn relieved that it had sent me into temporary paralysis, and I just stared at him, my eyes wandering over his entire body.

He was still hooked on a shit ton of tubes, braces, and machines, but his blue eyes were open and staring at me, expectantly.

When I had first heard him mumble out a croaky, "Hey, " as I walked in, I was on the verge of bursting out into tears, my knees going weak at the sound of his voice.

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