Chapter 14

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I had a lot of broken bridges to mend, promises to keep, before it was too late

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I had a lot of broken bridges to mend, promises to keep, before it was too late. And I was like a girl on a mission, today.

That was how I found myself squirming in front of Courtney's curious stare, right after I cornered her after school.

"I heard about what you did, " I started and she gave me a questioning look. "With Heather I mean, you were one of the main reasons Max was arrested. So thank you." 

"There's no need for a thank you–" 

"No, let me finish." I interrupted her and she nodded. I took a deep breath and continued, "I've been quite rude to you in the past and I'm sorry for that. Well, I still hate Zoe, but I misjudged you. I guess I felt a little weird...or intimidated by your relationship with Tyler...which was wrong. Um, so... yeah. I'm sorry and...thank you." 

God, that was painfully awkward. 

"Oh." She blinked and cleared her throat. "Well, since we are being honest. . ." She trailed off, giving me a guilty look.

"Go on, " I encouraged her.

"I wasn't your biggest fan either since you started dating Tyler...I was jealous. And if I'm being completely honest, everything I did was for him. I mean, of course, I want you to be safe but this whole thing with Max was driving him insane and it was painful to watch—" 

"You like him," I blurted out, interrupting her ramble.

"I love him, " she corrected me without missing a beat and stole a glance at me to gauge my reaction.

But I had nothing to offer. I didn't know how to react. "Oh." 

She let out a wry chuckle, and shook her head, "It doesn't matter. He doesn't feel the same. The guy is madly in love with you." 

"I'm sorry." 

"No, you're not."

I shrugged. "You're right. I'm not sorry that he loves me, I'm just sorry that my happiness cost you yours." 

A small smile spread across her face, lighting her sharp features and she shrugged. "It is what it is."

"Well, I'm glad we had this talk."

"Yeah, me too." She nodded. "Hey, don't give Ty a hard time. I know he can be really controlling sometimes, but he never meant to hurt you."

"I know," I said, softly, before walking away.

By the time I walked away from her I felt a million times better. But it didn't make me feel any better about my next visit.

***

As I walked into the hospital that evening, my steps were heavy with guilt. 

It never does stop, does it? Guilt was a gift that kept on giving. 

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