Whatever It Takes {MxM} *COMPLETE*

{25} - Epilogue

Bright sunlight seeping through the window and onto his face, is what woke Andre, his eyes opening a crack to curse the bright, offending light. But his annoyance was short lived as he realized that it was morning and his hand only encountered coldness as he passed it onto Rafe's side of the bed.

His head whipped to the side, looking down at his hand and the empty space. His eyes filled immediately, his face scrunched up about to cry but he stayed his onset and remained optimistic that when he checked his phone, he would find all kinds of missed calls from his love.

There were none.

Biting back a few choice words for his wayward boyfriend, he simply lay there and stared at the vacant spot beside him, letting his silent tears fall down his face, wondering just what was so pressing that Rafe would disappear yet again and blaming himself for whatever reason it was.

Different scenarios began swirling around in his head as he tried to understand what might have triggered Rafe's latest disappearing act but only one stood out among the rest and filled him with dread.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't please you, Rafe." he sobbed. "I tried so h-hard..."

He should have never tried to top the bigger man. Should have said no on the onset of it all. He wasn't a good lover. He knew that and yet, he had only wanted to please his man. It had been such a bad idea to acquiesce and all he'd done was drive Rafe away with his horrible lovemaking.

It' s like he was never enough.

Burying his face into the pillow, he cried his very heart out as sinister whispers rose in his mind, taunting him, flinging vile names at him and blaming him for being so useless, so weak, so boring. How would he ever be able to keep a man like Rafe if he couldn't even please him?

So pathetic.

It was torture to hear his own subconscious belittle and berate him for something he just couldn't help. He had tried so very hard to please Rafe despite his inexperience in sexual matters. He had opened up and blossomed in his arms, becoming much more than he ever thought he would be after being so withdrawn and shy for most of his life.

He had given Rafe his very soul, everything that he ever was and ever would be and he'd become bolder, more assertive and playful than he'd ever been and he thought that was what Rafe wanted. He thought Rafe wanted him just as he was.

"I was so wrong..." he whispered sadly.

"Wrong about what?" came the deep voice from just behind him, making him freeze and clutch his pillow like it was the only thing in the world that was keeping him from catching a stroke. That...that voice.

Turning much too quickly for his body's peace of mind, he looked up into the worried eyes of the very man that had filled his mind and heart with doubt and he sobbed out even as he launched himself off the bed and into the open arms he craved so much.

"You...you came back." he sobbed into his neck as he held him tight for all he was worth. "I thought you had left me again. I was s-so worried I couldn't p-please you. I'm so sorry I couldn't please you Rafe. I can do better. I'll be better. I'll do whatever you want. Just please, don't leave me."

Brows furrowed, Rafe looked down at the top of his angel's head and wondered just what in the hell had gone on while he was away and what could have even compelled him to think such a fantastical thing when he'd never even given Andre a reason to think that.

What got him to act like that? Oh...of course.

He held back an epitaph at his own stupidity as realization dawned and he hugged his baby closer. "Andre, I didn't answer back or call because I was, indeed, very busy baby and I was running all over the place." he said softly, caressing his downy hair. "I couldn't wait to get back here to you and I thought you'd be happy to find me here when you woke but instead I find you crying your eyes out. I'm confused."