Every day I fall asleep in the hopes of never waking up again but I do. Every day I wake up and I have to go back to school. I wonder what it's like to live a happy and simple life. Where you don't have to be depressed. Where you are surrounded by the people you love and who love you. Where you don't have to worry about being alone. Or lonely.
People usually mix up with the terms alone and lonely. Even when a person is left alone they think they are lonely. But they don't know the real definition of being lonely. I have experienced both loneliness and being alone. And they are not the same.
Thinking back now I remember being happy but I forgot the feeling of it. My friends leaving me one by one. Some ignoring my existence. Some moving away and losing contact. I couldn't bring myself to let anyone in. My last friend Sydney moved away too. I used to have a best friend Jenny who is still my classmate but she is one of those people who ignore my existence and I can blame her can I? No one would wanna be with me. Y would they? Jenny is now always with Sierra. Sierra is popular and she is smart and why would anyone chose me over her.
I am just a depressed kid with a heart disease. Not many people know this but I have a congenital heart defect and 2 years ago when all my friends moved away or ignored me I fell into depression because I was lonely. My parents travel all the time but it's not like they care. My mom always told me that she wished I was never born. And not just when she is angry or mad. She really does regret giving birth to such an embarrassment. She used to say that I was just a waste of their money. I don't have a sibling or a pet or any kind of emotional support. And that depression has led me to be the broken person I am.
Only a few people know bout this. My best friend Zoe. She is one of my only friends who is still in contact with me. My grandmother who passed away last year and my doctor. And I don't want anyone to know. I don't want anyone to feel pity for me. I don't want anyone's sympathy. A congenital heart defect is irreversible. I always have swelling in my legs, tummy, and around the eyes. And if I do any sort of exercise I am out of breath. Even if I am climbing the staircase.
I don't want this to be cured. I want it to end. To take my life. I don't wanna live anymore.
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Everything's Changed
Teen FictionAriana Mills is a teenage student who is battling hardships. Who dosen't value her life. And neither does anyone else. Or so she thought #1 teendairy #6 teendepression
