saige | t.lupin

unworthy

Saige tapped her foot as she waited by the barrels that marked the entrance of the Hufflepuff common room. Running a hand through her blonde waves, she sighed. She had never liked night patrols, they were boring and they only ever encountered students snogging in dark corners. Not to mention her partner for the night. Lupin seemed to harbour some sort of hatred for the girl, which she was beginning to reciprocate. Truthfully, the boy was insufferable. A shoe-in for head boy, it seemed like he didn't even have to try in class, he always managed to obtain an 'O', while Saige put her everything into her work, squeezing out every drop of energy she had into it. People seemed to flock towards him, but not in the same way they did to Saige. Teddy seemed to be genuinely likeable, people wanted to be his friend. His popularity wasn't based on the envy of others, it was purely his charm. He had a warm presence, unlike the girl rumoured to have a heart of ice, and Saige was jealous of that. She hated having to navigate friendships laced with purpose. No one wanted to be her friend purely for her, there was always hidden intent, and she would not be used by someone, and so was formed her defensive, cold nature. Maybe that's what made her such a good beater, quidditch was the only thing where she could truely trust her teammates, and she was finally able to relax into the game, not worried about the anterior motives of her fellow players. They were all there for one shared purpose: to win. Saige was broken from her thoughts as the wooden barrels began to shift, revealing a door and emerged Teddy Lupin. The two made eye contact instantly, and Teddy moved toward the girl leaning on the wall with her arms crossed defensively.

"Stirling."

"Lupin."

The two stood in a rather awkward silence, each daring the other to make the first move.

"Shall we head off then?" Teddy was the one to finally break the silence. Abandoning a verbal response, Saige nodded her head in agreement. Taking note of her lack of friendliness this particular evening, Teddy led the way through the hallways, Saige pushing herself off the wall and falling into step beside him. He was rather bewildered by the girls attitude. It seemed as though she had abandoned her snarky attitude that she usually carried and instead replace it with a quiet, closed off one. He decided to disregard the change in Saige's demeanour, concluding that the endless work she put herself under was finally catching up to her. Serves her right, walking around like she's better than everyone else, he thought to himself.

"Lupin," the call of his name had the boy snapping back to attention from his dazed thoughts. He looked expectantly to Saige, and she gestured to two Slytherin students backed into a corner, snogging each other's faces off.

"Right, which one of us wants to break it up?" Teddy sighed. This was the worst part of rounds, nobody wanted to have to break apart two angsty teenagers apart when they're so... invested in one another. Pulling out her wand, Saige muttered a stinging curse under her breath that Teddy couldn't quite make out, causing the couple to spring apart.

"Right, back to the dungeons you two," Saige stated bluntly. "And be quick about it. Just because I can't take points away from you doesn't mean I won't report you to your head of house." The two scurried off after her threat, for they all knew that it wasn't empty. After watching them round the corner, Saige looked forward and continued their route. They didn't have long to go, and by the looks of it, Teddy could tell that Saige wanted it to be over and done with. Growing bored, Teddy decided to tempt a conversation with the girl.

"You're not very talkative tonight Stirling," he began.

"Really? Hadn't noticed," she responded bluntly.

"There's the sarcasm we all know and missed," Teddy replied. She shot him a look that could kill and he raised his hands in mock surrender. "All right, all right don't bite my head off. I was just asking."

"What's it to you? hmm?" Saige questioned. "You've never seemed to care. It's no secret that you hate me, so lets just get on with it."

"I never said I hate you," Teddy replied.

"Is that so? Do you like me then?"

"No, I-," Teddy spluttered. "I don't hate you Stirling, no matter how much you warrant it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, growing a strange mix of frustrated and curious.

"You want me to tell you the truth?" The two stopped walking and faced each other off, arms crossed and standing tall, Saige nodding yes. "I think you're arrogant. You walk around like you own the place, talk to people as if they're stupid and won't let anyone close to you. You have what, 5 actual friends? You know that so many people want to be friends with you, but you push them away. Why walk around like this cold, emotionless shell? I don't get it, you have everything you could ever need and you just don't care. You know, I would kill to have what you have. You have a family that loves you, perfect grades, teachers love you, everyone wants to be you, yet you seem like you don't even want to be yourself. So why won't you just drop the snotty, egotistic front you have up and just let people see who you actually are because I refuse to believe that this is who you really are."

The two stared at each other for a moment, Teddy's face full of emotion while Saige's remained blank. She mulled over his speech for a moment, turning over his words in her head. He was right, theoretically, she did have the "perfect" life he described. Yet she refused to make him aware of the harsh reality that she lived through every day, he would never be allowed to see that side of her. The truthful, raw, emotional side of her.

"Our rounds are over, I'm going to bed. You should too," was all she said as she turned to leave for her common room, leaving him to watch her retreating figure. Letting out a heavy sigh, Teddy felt anger start to bloom in his chest. He laid it all out for her, practically handed her the opportunity to prove him wrong, to show him that she was capable of feeling human emotions, yet she decided not to take it. Maybe she just doesn't care, he thought. Maybe she just isn't capable of being even slightly empathetic, or maybe she just doesn't care. Maybe she's fine with me hating her. The thought stung a little, why would she want that? Does she genuinely think I'm that unworthy of an honest answer, to just walk away like that? Teddy's emotions and thoughts flew around his head in a buzz of question and confusion. Realising that he was still standing shellshocked in the corridor, he began the journey back to his common room. As he tossed and turned that night trying to fall asleep, he was fixated on the girl. How could she have such a hold on his thoughts? He didn't even like her? Maybe its the Hufflepuff in me, he reasoned. Maybe I just can't handle the fact that someone doesn't like me. But no, it wasn't that. Teddy couldn't put his finger on it for the life of him. He laid in bed for a while thinking, questions and possible answers filling his mind, until sleep eventually took over him. He would wake up with the same questions, sitting in his speculation killing him, and he was determined to get answers from Saige Stirling herself.