Backfiring Lunacy

Chapter 9

The wind gushed in a thick spread of the rushing figure blowing through even its toughest air pressure, attempting to stop the silhouette of the irrational being flowing through its defenses - but no matter the resistance, the figure slipped through the wind to blow it outwards in every frenzied step bellowing. The grass smushed with its measly but upright posture too failing to stop the being. Like a juggernaut that could bash through walls, cobblestone, and especially concrete, more would've fell had the figure been running in an enclosed space from the inside.

Fortunately, the very figure was outside.

The meandering individual crunched the dirt, slashed the wind in half, and created an unstoppable force that contradicted the common paradox of what would happen if it met an immovable object. Rushing through every particle in her path, the figure could feel her lungs and shoulders ache from running far too much. In-fact, she had long forgotten how long she ran for until her legs couldn't carry on any further from exerting more pressure to carry on the mass the force she would spew.

The figure stopped in the middle of a field where the grasslands held steady. Gasping and in need of oxygen, the figure trudged to a nearby lake she spotted that unusually seemed to be in a pure state. The water wasn't dirty or inhaled substances such as minerals from the water, which would make it bittersweet or unsafe in all aspects to drink.

Time began to slow down in this isolated area from society, and Reisen felt it too. In her quest to escape the boundaries of lunacy, she headed to a secluded location, breathlessly confused with her whereabouts. Even as she used her senses to hypothesize where she may be, the bright sky illuminated her surroundings to assist her with intaking all of this.

And yet, still, she didn't know where exactly she was.

Reisen settled down onto her knees, panting, feeling her beating heart pound at her chest against her ribcage. The moon rabbit placed her hands on the ground to retrieve her oxygen supply back, as the mere fact she could not process any thoughts corresponded with the conundrum at hand. After some time, Reisen covered her face and began to sob tearfully at what she had done to Mokou. All of these episodes where control was lost made her commit such odious acts she could never redeem herself for.

"I-I," Reisen whispered out. "I can't live like this...causing so much pain against my own will. Why can't I just stop?" The moon rabbit sobbed harder, banging her fist onto the ground. She needed to find a way to stop this - because she was more than certain this wouldn't be the last one. Reisen had nobody to comfort her, and she knew they wouldn't bother to help her with the danger she posed. Nobody would ever comprehend what it's like to black out and come back to reality with what you had done laid out before you. Not a single soul would ever understand that.

Reisen contemplated with what she should do. If these events would only interminably further and further, was she...better off dead? She wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else again - besides, she probably was a good-for-nothing student to Eirin and a frivolous mess to her master, Kaguya. They wouldn't miss her when she was gone. Maybe they'd search for her, but not because they cared about her - rather because she was still important to them as a tool.

And a tool can only be good for so long until it no longer can function.

And when it can no longer function, it's abandoned.

The rabbit ears of Reisen drooped down in hellacious realization. Had her life been nothing but a fraud? A show of entertainment to the hundreds of youkai living in Gensokyo? Had she truly been fighting for anything meaningful only for the misled belief of making others happy? So then what? Did that mean she only cared for the happiness of others but not herself? Reisen felt like giving up - perhaps drown herself in the lake before her and get this over with...before another relapse happens.