The Release

Chapter 19

AN: wow, I'm terrible. I keep saying I'm going to get writing again, then go months without even opening the document. I will say, I have a good excuse this time. Recently welcomed baby no.2 and boy I forgot how hard it was to have a newborn. On to the update and bare with me, I will finish this story if it's the last thing I do 😅

Meredith's alarm buzzed loudly, awaking her from the light slumber. She wanted to talk to Cristina before she left for work so she quickly hopped out of bed, not even bothering to stop as she stepped down each step to see Cristina heading for the door.

"Cristina, why are you avoiding me?" Meredith huffed, stepping in front of her before she could leave.

"Meredith, I don't have time for this," Cristina said while shaking her head and trying to move around her.

"No. You don't get to just ignore me and yell at me whenever you feel like it," Meredith quickly huffed, placing her hand at frame of the door.

"You know, I thought this would have been great. When you started your internship, I was ecstatic to finally get some ambitious competition. Instead, you have your head stuck so far up McDreamy's ass that you can see you're falling behind," she said, stepping back from Meredith.

"You don't understand Cristina! This, what we have is something you will never understand. He was the first person to show me love, some understanding even, you don't know the half of it I've been through and I'm trying here. I'm trying to please everyone, you're suppose to be my person," she breathed, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes.

"What am I suppose to do? You don't talk to me anymore, you blow me off to go hang out with your new boyfriend. You're going to therapy and I don't even know why! We are two different people than we use to be," Cristina said, shaking her head.

"I changed, I changed a long time ago. There are things you don't know about- things no one knows about. It's complicated, I went through something traumatic a long time ago and I buried it. You've never been the touchy friend, always the drink your worries away. I can't do that anymore, I am hardly sleeping at night anymore. For years it's just been me, we talked but it was never like it was growing up. We grew apart, it was hard but I accepted it. You are still my person, you will always be my person," Meredith could stop the tears flooding her eyes, she knew she would eventually have to tell her. She moved away from the door, letting Cristina pass by without another word. She was stressed, well that was much of an understatement to what she was feeling. She wiped her eyes with the edge of her sweatshirt, she needed to get ready. It was the first time she would be seeing Dr. Wyatt, she was suppose to be the best Seattle had.

As she started up the stairs, the phone began to ring. She wasn't sure if she even felt like picking it up to talk to anyone. She turned the phone over, seeing Derek's name light up the screen.

"Hello?" She said, trying to not let her voice crack to badly.

"Hey," he said, his voice far too cheerful to be up this early.

"Why are you up this early?" She asked, pacing the room. She couldn't help it, her nerves were completely shot and she was a pacer.

"I do have patients, even on your day off. What's wrong? You nervous about your appointment?" He asked, hearing the crackling in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah," she tried to reassure him.

"It's going to be great, you'll feel a lot better talking through your problems," he sounded hopeful, at least one of them had to be.

"I don't talk, I bury," she sighed.

"Listen, how about after your appointment you eat lunch with the hottest neurosurgeon on the west coast." he chuckled, she could see the smirk on his face through the phone.