May Flowers - Sanders Sides Fanfiction

❁Sunflowers - Longevity❁

AU: Canon

TW: Possible character death, it's vague

WC: 1336

Date: 5/11/2021

"The door is grey."

"Yes Remus, thank you for pointing out the obvious." Roman was pacing in the common room, trying to control the swell of emotions that cascaded through him, fighting against the ebb and flow of misery and fear. Patton had been missing since after their conversation. He hadn't noticed it at first, too wrapped up in his own misery to care about the well-being of the most personable side. It wasn't until his own despair had faded, replaced with the excitement of a new love, that Roman realized he couldn't find the parental side. What was worse, when he made it to Patton's door, the color had already begun to fade.

"Well maybe if we paint it we can get him back. And if he's back maybe you'll go back to normal. You're boring when you are like this."

He ignored his brother, trying to think of a way that they could get access into Patton's room. The last time they were all in that room it had not worked out well for anyone, but they might have to resort to that. Unfortunately, that also meant explaining everything to Thomas.

"Sides change with time, it is..." Logan looked up from his book, the one he was pretending to read despite not having changed the page in over an hour, "It is possible that Patton will not return to us." There was a waver in his voice, barely noticeable by the others in the room, but noticeable nonetheless. No one pointed it out.

"I refuse to believe that." Roman threw his hands in the air. "Patton is the oldest of us all, and he has always been here. If anyone is going to continue to be the same it will be him."

"And yet, Thomas is going through a strenuous time as he re-evaluates his morality. Don't you believe it is possible that could be quite literal since we are all metaphysical beings? It is also possible he is being split."

Roman froze and Virgil spoke up.

"Specs, you aren't helping." It was typical for him to be anxious over changes, but the thought of losing Patton had never even been a possibility. Now it was, and he wasn't sure how to handle it. His leg was bouncing up and down as he cast his eyes up towards the hallway of rooms. He could tell that Logan was just as worried as the rest of them, but the damn nerd was trying to seem calm and collected.

Logan's calmness made him feel like this wasn't a big deal; like his anxiety was magnifying the situation. He needed Logan to break down. He needed the reassurance that this was as serious as his mind was telling him it was. Patton might be gone for good!

The logical side finally abandoned his book, letting out a deep and heavy sigh. "We can't fix this. Not without potentially hurting Thomas more. This is a growing moment."

"You act as if you don't care!" Roman was ready to let out some steam, storming towards Logan.

"Of course I care! I am the second oldest, Patton has been a constant, but we can't fix this. Do you think I didn't try while you wallowed in self-pity?"

At that moment the weight of his actions all fell on him. He had been sulking in his room, Virgil keeping him company as he tried to come to terms with not being Thomas' hero. Remus and Janus would have been off in their own domain, which meant that Logan had been alone. Logan had seen all of this happening.

"Why didn't you come get us?"

"I tried, but none of you ever listen to logic." He sounded defeated, rubbing his eyes as he sat back down. "I am merely trying to stay true to my function here. We cannot fix this, but that doesn't mean we will completely lose him. Honestly, it might be better if we did."

"What do you mean?" Roman felt like he was on a rollercoaster of emotions, jumping from despair to anger so quickly it left his stomach-churning.

"Even if we lose Patton, he has made a lasting impact on all of our lives. His disappearance would not cause this impact to fade. No matter what happens, we will always carry a figurative piece of him. However, if we do not lose Patton, he may be changed beyond recognition. That could be... more devastating, don't you think?" Logan could feel the build-up of pain in his throat.

Patton had been the first to greet Logan when he formed, curious about the world around him and all of its wonders and mysteries. He had been the one to push Roman towards the things he loved and dreamed about. He had been the first one to accept Virgil as a part of the famILY. He had provided Janus a foil to fight against, always pushing him to improve. He had been the reason that Remus split off from Roman. He had had an impact on all of them, and even if he faded, his impact would not.

"Then what do you suggest, Specs?"

"All we can do is offer encouragement through his door, hope it makes it through to him, and prepare for the worst." Logan picked up his book and started to try to read again. He had been doing the best he could to not break down all week.

Virgil bit at his lip, making his way upstairs and looking down at Remus who was still sitting at the door. Remus backed up so that Virgil could get to the door. The anxious side began to whisper something, hoping to remind Patton of all of the reasons he was loved. When he exhausted himself he left to go to his room, wanting to be alone.

Roman was the next to go up to the room, declaring his admiration for Patton and reminding him of all of the times that Patton had been a guiding light for him. He spent an hour speaking at the door, never bothering to lower his voice. He eventually left as well. By that point Logan had returned to his room, leaving only Janus and Remus.

"You really did break him double d."

"That was not my intention, but if he can't take the heat then it might be best that he go through a revival."

Remus frowned, making his way to the door again, leaning against it. "Hey daddio, just so you know, I don't blame you." He said softly to the door. Remus left as well, leaving just Janus and Patton's greying door.

The deceptive side closed his eyes, sighing as he made his way up. "You really shouldn't do this Patton, you are scaring your family." He leaned forward, resting his head on the door. "I know you are going through a crisis. I know that this is difficult for you, but being wrong does not mean that you have to lock yourself away. Take a deep breath, we will all be here when you are ready."

Janus could feel warmth from the door, a sense of nostalgia filling him. It was sad and sweet, and all together heartbreaking. "Do you remember what Logan said about nostalgia? It's proof that things can be okay again, and they will be okay. Now, I have no intention of forcing you out of your room, take all of the time you need, rest, take care of yourself. It will be okay." Janus pulled away, looking at the door that seemed to have gained more color. He knew that this wasn't the end, Patton was too stubborn for that. A smile graced his face and he pulled away, gently tapping on the door.

He was self-preservation, he would make sure all of the sides had a certain longevity to them. Thomas was a wonderful human, he wasn't going to risk that by losing such an important side.