May Flowers - Sanders Sides Fanfiction

❁Delphinium - Encouragement❁

AU: Human AU

CW: None that I know of

WC: 1136

Date: 5/29/2021

The red-headed actor pushed their hair back, shoulders tight, walking with purpose, yet there was a heaviness in their heart. It had been a long day, splitting their time between acting and teaching could be rather draining. It was rewarding to be able to teach the next generation of actors, but Roman worried that they had overextended their reach. Normally, Roman rose to any challenge. There was nothing that couldn't be overcome without a bit of hard work, but this really was stretching it a bit thin. Even that wouldn't completely be a problem, they had an entire plan for self-care, but today had not been a great day in the gender department.

Somedays, Roman wondered if they were actually non-binary. They hadn't really experienced dysphoria, sure there were things about their body that they didn't like, but that was normal societal pressure. It didn't help that a lot of people had told them that they were an attention whore, that they only claimed to be non-binary because it made them feel special. On the stage, Roman had the confidence of a god, but in their own body, or regarding their own emotions, it was a bit more complicated.

They/Them pronouns felt right. Each time someone used the proper pronouns there was a warm feeling in Roman's heart. Likewise, now that they knew there was a different option, He/Him felt wrong. Sometimes Roman wasn't even sure that people were specifically addressing them, and when they caught on it brought on a horrid crashing feeling. It was just a reminder that society would always claim that Roman was a 'guy'.

Sometimes it was easy enough to ignore it. For years they had used those pronouns, but today was not one of those days. Roman didn't have the energy to be misgendered. If they were just headed home to take a bubble bath, that would be fine, but they were headed into a coffee shop to hang out with their friends.

This was the first time they were all hanging out together after Roman had come out to the five of them. Well, they hadn't really come out as much as their brother had literally spilled the information to the rest of the group. Roman wasn't mad, their friends were some of the kindest, most understanding people, it was just hard to come out when you weren't confident in your identity. They had been intending on coming out anyway, but Remus, attempting to be a supportive brother, had kept referring to Roman with the proper pronouns. Logan, always observant, had picked up on it and the question had been thrust out into the open.

The next few days with Remus had been a little tense, but Roman couldn't fault him. He had been trying to be supportive without completely thinking through the consequences. Everyone had seemed to take Roman's new identity well but they were still nervous. This was new to the others, and it was almost expected that at least one of the five was going to stumble over the new pronouns. It would be worth it though. Being with their friends always made Roman feel better, even during their period in the closet. This would be okay.

Pushing the door open, they took in a deep breath. Their friends loved them and cared for them. No slip up any of them made would change that. Roman tried to remember that.

"Hello my wonderful compatriots, how are you today?"

"Perfect timing, will you please tell Patton that we do not have the space for a dog, much less two?"

"That is not fair, don't make them fight your fight, Lo!"

Them. Roman was thankful that they were a master of their own expressions because they needed time to process this. They had been expecting to be misgendered right out of the gate but Patton said it as if it was the only natural conclusion. It made every positive part of their brain light up as Roman finally sat down, sliding into the chair next to Patton.

"I don't know Specs, what if they were small dogs?"

"Not you too," He groaned, taking a clean napkin and balling it up to toss teasingly at Roman. "You are an awful influence and an awful human."

The smile that lit up their face couldn't be hidden. It was the little things, the small details that his friends were obviously paying attention to.

"Oh look, two men and an idiot, I think we found the right table."

"Don't be mean, Jan." Virgil sat next to Roman, leaving enough space for them to be knocked over by their brother.

"Sibi!" Remus shouted, throwing himself at Roman. "At band practice, Virge and I discussed the blobfish. They look so weird, wanna see?"

"Um, sure."

Remus didn't let go, instead just finishing his phone out of his pocket and pulling up pictures, showing it to Roman while still squishing them.

"Look, it's just as ugly as you."

"Rude," throwing Remus off, Roman finally looked at Janus, the last to sit down, who was fishing something out of his bag. He set it on the table with a soft clink.

"What's the mason jar for?"

"A pronoun jar."

"What?"

"We all went behind your back like the vicious villains we are and decided that if any of us misgenders you, we will put a quarter in the pronoun jar. If it ever gets full, you can buy yourself a personality." There was a teasing smirk to Janus's lips. "And if it never gets full, well, the near-empty jar can be a reminder of how much we love and support you or something disgustingly sentimental like that."

This time, Roman couldn't stop the tears, covering their mouth as they fought back a sob. "If you continue to be mean to me I will fight you with my perfectly manicured sword," they choked out, lowering their hands just a bit so that everyone could see the smile.

"Yes, yes, stab me all you want, now what do you want to drink your royal extraness?"

"Oh no, if you take my drink order you will get it wrong on purpose." Roman stood and walked over to the line with Janus. "Sincerely though, thank you, Janus. It's nice to get encouragement from you all." It was nice to know their friends didn't think they were faking it.

"Figuring out who you are is a pain, but, with the right support group and a safe place to grow, you might even be able to flourish." Janus bumped their hips together, looking at Roman with compassion and care.

Roman looked at him before looking back at their friends. Yeah, with a safe place to grow, Roman was sure they would grow stronger in this identity.