spite || levi x reader

1 - 14

You collect badges.

With nothing else to do, you wander around to the corpses, seeing what you can salvage. You find Rani's attached to her headless torso. You can't find any of Uri's remains- but you're not sure if that piece of arm belongs to him, so you really can't say. You manage to find two other scout badges, and with shaky fingers, you collect them. Steam is evaporating off of you, billowing up into the sky. You feel awfully smoky as you pluck badges from corpses.

Levi held onto all of the badges of his fallen comrades. The insanity in you makes you laugh. "I can start my collection," you murmur, surprised at how such a morbid thought became vocalized.

You wish you had something to commemorate your other fallen trainees. Mina, Hannah, Franz, Marco- people who you'd considered your friends but you hadn't even seen in their final moments. Ruth, torn to shreds above you. Hannah, who gave up.

Exhaling, you collect your thoughts and try calling for your horse.

No dice. You keep wandering. Wandering, looking for any sort of gear, eyes tipped up at the sky as the steam envelops you. Eventually, you collapse into the grass, teary-eyed and dizzy.

By some miracle, your horse comes back.

You'd jumped off of it to hop into battle- you hadn't even thought about it afterwards. You're not sure how long you spend slumped in the grass, but the whinny and sound of hooves against the ground forces you up to your feet. Clutching your ribs, you look up, expecting to see a horse and rider but only seeing the horse.

"You came back," you say, grinning then wincing as your chest protests.

The horse neighs, slowing down in front of you. There's no distinct markings that indicate it's your horse, exactly, but you know. You know it's yours.

Sighing, you pat its mane and tuck your gathered badges into the saddle pouch. "Good girl," you murmur. "Thank you."

It takes much longer than you'd like to admit, but you get yourself up onto your horse. You'll blame it on your ribs later. Slowly, you shift yourself into a more comfortable position as your horse shifts beneath you. Clearly, it's as uncomfortable with the surroundings as you are.

You squeeze gently with your heels, steering the horse in the direction you'd been headed with your squad. "Let's go," you say, and the horse starts to run.

As you ride, you try to organize all of your thoughts. You'd been near the front of the formation, so even with the delay and all the titans you've had to kill, you can't be too much further behind the back of the formation. If you keep up this pace, you can try to catch up to them.

Where had Levi said he was? Center, back row?

That, you can do. Catch up with the back rows, find Levi. You exhale, ignoring the burn in your chest as you do.

I need to get back to the center squad, I need to get to Levi.

It hurts to breathe. You're finding it harder and harder to stay up on your horse. Slowly, you lean downwards, falling against the horse's neck. It doesn't seem to mind. Your ribs ache with every breath and spots cloud your vision.

What was it Uri had said? Headed towards a forest in the west?

"Forest," you mumble, craning your neck upwards. "Need to get to the forest."

The horse, who likely has no idea what you're talking about, canters on.

You try not to think about it, but it's hard not to. Your friends, your team, your squad- they'd all been eaten by titans. Uri, Rani. So competent. How many expeditions had Rani said she'd been on? Ten or eleven?