spite || levi x reader

3 - 7

The next few days are awful. 

One night, your dreams are especially bad, and you wake up in a frenzy. You shove Levi's arm off of you and nearly roll yourself off the bed in your panic. Levi stirs and you jump off of the mattress, stumbling away to the far side of the room and smacking your hip off the desk.

Traute had you. She had a hand around your throat and was starting to slice into your stomach, blood was running down your body and-

"L!" Levi hisses, suddenly wide awake. "Snap out of it!"

You don't right away. It takes you a minute to gather your surroundings, to figure out where you are. When your vision comes into focus, you see Levi's hopped off the bed, standing a foot away from you and watching you warily, like he's afraid to close the distance.

Your eyes swim with tears. "I'm sorry," you stammer immediately. "I'm so sorry-"

Realizing that you've snapped out of your night terror, Levi steps forward and pulls you towards him, effectively shutting you up. His arms go around your shoulders, being mindful of your back. You shudder against his chest, squeezing your eyes shut and clinging onto him to keep yourself grounded. What's gotten into you? That'd been painfully vivid, sure, but you never should've reacted so badly. That was unlike anything you've felt before.

"What was it?" Levi murmurs in your ear.

You don't speak. You don't want to say it; you're afraid that speaking it will make it come true.

"L," he whispers. "It's just me."

Just me.

"Traute," you force out. "She was- she was cutting me-"

"Traute's dead," Levi interrupts, and he pulls back from you. With your face gently cupped in his hands, his thumbs brush under your eyes, getting rid of some of your tears. "I killed her. I promise you, she's gone. Alright?"

You reach up, cupping one of your hands over his. You don't reply.

"She's gone," he repeats. "Say it."

"She's gone," you whisper.

He nods. "Come on."

Slowly, Levi coaxes you back into his bed. You curl up against his chest, blinking rapidly as he settles you both in and pulls up one of his sheets to cover you both.

"I don't want to sleep," you say quietly.

"That's fine," he murmurs.

So you don't. And neither does he.

.

That, luckily, was the worst of it.

After that, managing your nightmares gets easier. Levi always wakes up with you, and he always helps you through it, even if it means he doesn't sleep at all that night. He stays true to his word and spends the first few days by your side, nonstop. Eventually, only after confirming that you'll be okay, he starts leaving for short periods of time: grabbing tea for you both, heading to meet Erwin, meetings with the MPs.

You don't want to be reliant on him. You can't be. So you start getting back into your routine with some of the others. 

Your procedure is roughly the same every day. Wake up, eat, socialize, appointments. The doctors insisted no training, and for once, you're willing to comply; no one else will train with you anyways because of the doctor's orders and training on your own isn't very appealing anymore. You eat with Hange in the afternoons, enjoying your recovery time together. You find the rest of Squad Levi and watch their training sessions.