𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝟮 ⁑ t.holland

13. not as bad as it seems

All week I've been trying to understand what all of this meant. What it would affect for the people in my life.
I knew Tom and I had just started becoming close to okay again, and now this. It's not like I wanted to jump right back into his arms and tell him my feelings never went away or that I want him back per se... I just didn't want him to think it wasn't a possibility for the future.

Obviously I had to keep this quiet with my friends, as for everyone else... I had to make them think this thing between Nick and I was real. How was I supposed to do that when Tom's the only person on my mind?

I tried calling Monica 3 times throughout the week but I knew I should be leaving her alone, telling her about Lea's plan would cut her vacation short and that's the last thing I wanted. I'd wait for a few seconds, thinking about what I'd tell her if she ever answered the phone. By the time I'd come up with the decision to just act like I wanted to hear about her trip, her voicemail would start up.

Monica would never in a million years agree with Lea's plan. She would've fired the bitch the second the words "fake boyfriend" came out of her mouth.
She wouldn't be back until the end of the month, meaning, I had to deal with Lea's crazy ideas for a little while longer.

Knowing my career revolved around this stunt of hers for the time being, I had to come up with a song with Nick. The only reason I ended up showing up here to figure something out was because I knew I didn't have a choice. I knew deep down that this one thing wouldn't affect my career that much... I just couldn't take the risk of losing it all to angry fans.

Nick ended up inviting me to a bar, knowing I was more in my element after a pint. 
I've listened to his songs before and they're far from what I used to do. All of his music was more happy, cute, positive... while mine were uh... not?

He was good with this whole music thing, played a lot of instruments which obviously came in handy when it came to producing your own music. He had a real ear for this kind of shit and I guess he wasn't the worst person to be partnered with. 

I leaned back in my seat and drank the rest of the beer at the bottom of the cup, slamming it  down onto the table. Nick looked up at me, wide-eyed. "You..." He trailed off, tilting his head to the side with furrowed brows. "You finished all of it already...?"

I turned to his own pint which was only at the halfway mark. I flash him a smirk and lock eyes with the tall singer again. "I work best drunk" I snicker, leaning back even more over the chair in hopes to catch the waitress' attention. After waving my arm a little, she turns to me and smiles politely. "Could I get one more, please?" I ask, smiling and pointing down at the empty glass.

She nods and grabs the empty cup before walking away. Nick and I turn to face one another again and I sit straight, eventually leaning into the wooden table. A smile pulls at my lips but his expression remains the same. That was until a hint of irritation sparkled in his dark brown eyes.

He scoffed and sat back, shaking his head.

I frowned. "What?" I ask in an almost irritated tone.

"It's just..." He cut himself off, laughing frustratingly. "You act as if this is all some kind of joke"

I burst out laughing, mirroring his position; leaned back, arms crossed over my chest, head tilted slightly. "Obviously" I remark, smirking. "That's cause it is."

He sat up again, obviously annoyed with my attitude now. "Look," Nick started, placing his hands on the table as if he would explain something so incredibly difficult to me. "I get that this means jack shit to you but..." He paused, sighing. "I don't have a multi-million dollar safety net to catch me if this doesn't work out. I know what you're going through--"