Alphas Little Munchkin

chapter 6:

* song for the chapter is invisible by hunter hayes, im not that big on country but his song has deep meaning*

You know when you feel like you are going to disappear, never exist again? I feel that right now. I was sitting beside Nathan who despite his arguments couldn't get me on his lap for the evening. I knew he was being protective but now wasn't the time. Anyway it didn't seem like much of a problem now since his focus was on talking to the neighboring Alphas. I just sat here looking at them all talking like they have known eachother their entire lives but many of the men at this table had never even met. It was like a bond had instantly formed between them all and they had become their own little community. It's saddening because it reminds me that I don't have this, not with many people anyway. I have my mate and I have Kenzie , in ways that's enough but in others it's not.

I sat there for 3 hours and just watched them, it would've been boring if I hadn't been used to it by now. I never forgot to bring my headphones or something to keep myself busy so I didn't have to sit here bored out of my mind. Eventually the meeting ended and I followed my mate out of the meeting room. I refrained from saying his name sometimes because Nathan still wasn't all that familiar to me. He led us back to his room and I laid down on his bed listening to music and I felt the bed dip and one of my ear buds were pulled out of my ear, " im taking a shower, I'll be out in 20 and we can go downstairs and make some lunch." I nodded and I felt him put the ear bud back in my ear and kiss my forehead before once again I was back in my own little world.

Nathan did as he said he would and was out in twenty minutes and we headed down for lunch. We headed to the kitchen and I sat on a stool infront of the island. He walked to the fridge and opened it looking around " what would you like for lunch?" I shrugged " doesn't matter to me, anything you want." He nodded since this was a regular thing. I never knew what I wanted to eat so he just made what he thought we would both like and I ate it. He began making grilled cheese as I sat there watching him cooking and hoping maybe I could one day attempt at using the stove and coming out with something edible. He finished the food and we sat side by side in silence. It wasn't akward but I honestly didn't know what to say to him, most of the time he started the conversation," so what did you think of the meeting?" I looked over at him and back at my food " it was ok, I mean I defiantly saw some bonding between you guys so I'm guessing we will be having a lot of alliences soon?" He nodded with a smile " at least the boring meeting ended with something good right?" I nodded , I remember when I was eager to go to the meetings and now it is just a thing i go to so I can waste time. " So the therapist said you have another session scheduled tomorrow." I nodded , I was practically forced into it " he said that if we maybe tried a different approach it may be easier to talk about everything , but I highly doubt anything will change," he looked over at me smiling and shrugged " you wont know until you try", and he took the last bite of his sandwhich.
You won't know until you try

My life is so full of de-ja-vu it isn't even funny. I still highly doubted that anything new would come from this tactic change but like Nathan said, 'You won't know until you try.'