An angel and her demons.

31: Realisation

This morning I opened my eyes expecting to be lying in the new found comfort of a fluffy matress and duck feather pillows, yet instead i was lying on the moldy cot i was so used to for the majority of my childhood.

Confused.

Oh so very confused.

I looked around the room only to find myseld lathered in blood and those dark, angry eyes staring back down at me.

The eyes i thought I'd never have to see again.

"Where are my brothers, i thought you were dead?" I croaked out only to be replied with a shoot of laughter and a steam of blows to my body.

For what felt an eternity i heard,felt and smelt the cracking and breaking of bones, the blood leaving every crevice of my body and my eyes slowly becoming heavier.

Thats when i realised it was just a dream; a false sense of reality and that i had never left this dammed place. Ihad no brothers, no family, no one to love me, no one to be proud of me... i was destined to be alone.

At this moment i could no longer feel the blows of the their attacks, i could just feel the warmth of what it felt like to have a family... even if it was a dream.

"I never got the things i wanted for very long, but atleast for a breif moment i was happy even if it wasnt real." I whispered softly to myself before i closed my eyes with a small smile pulling at my lips.

I told myself right from the beginning this would happen. I told myself to be careful. I told myself i would lose them. I knew I wasn't destined to be happy.

I know it is not fair, i never did anything wrong, i never hurted anyone but God tests me in everyway imagineable.

Dreaming about the brothers i lost all those years ago, that is my last straw.

Sometimes living is more painful than death and i realised there is no happy ending. Just sad endings filled with happy memories.

I didn't want to experience the pain of death, but somehow the pain of living seemed worse. Because maybe death hurts less than life. I can cope with the pain of death for a few mini moments if it meant i can be happy elsewhere.

••••••••••••

she looked back on her memories, the laughs, the pain, and everything in between, she closed her eyes one last time.

She is now an an angel,finally free.

And with that, an angel named Charlotte was taken away from her demons and she could finally rest with the love of her life in the stars.

.

The End <3