Sami's Kisses

Twenty-Six

Ashton was the first person I wanted to talk to after my conversation with Carissa. I called him in the cafe, and he said he would come right away. In anticipation of his arrival, I sat out the back door of the cafe and kept my eyes on the street.

The cafe was closed now, and the sun was mostly set. It was still dimly lit when Ashton arrived at the quiet cafe. When he stepped out of his truck, my stomach dropped a little at the worry on his face. I was torn all over again just seeing him.

"Sparky, are you okay?"

"Hey Ashton," I forced a smile. I was sure my eyes were red and puffy from the sobbing I did with Carissa in the park. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem. You sounded pretty upset on the phone so I came as fast as I could."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and Ashton waited more patiently than I expected. "I met with my sister today. I wanted to hear her out."

"Seriously? She's the one who made you this upset? I swear, she's done enough already and she should just mind her own--"

"Ashton, it's okay," I grabbed his arm to calm him down before he made a move to get up. "It's fine, it was good that we chatted."

"Then why did you look like you've been crying?"

The thought nearly made me cry again. "I've spent the last several years harboring anger and confusion over why she left in the first place. Now that I know why, I not only feel relieved that it wasn't because of me, but I feel...guilt, for what my sister went through."

I confessed to Ashton the short version of what Carissa had told me. The pregnancy, kicked out of the house, adoption, and how she's made a life for herself in San Diego. I still wasn't sure how to tell him that she asked me to live with her in Southern California. Part of me felt like it was a bit foolish to be so nervous to tell him. Did it even matter to him if I moved? I doubt he likes me like that. It seems to be as a friend. Or an acquaintance, even. All that considered, and sometimes I still can't help the feeling that maybe -- just maybe -- he likes he after all.

Ugh. He's so hard to read, meanwhile I'm an emotional wreck.

Ashton blew out a low whistle and coughed dryly. "Holy shit."

"It would be nice to have a relationship with her moving forward."

"Couldn't she have gotten in touch with you sooner? Why now?"

"I think she tried, but my parents wanted nothing to do with her. It's not like I had access to a phone or an email or anything for her to get a hold of me. Besides, she was working her tail off to make a life for herself after all the other...crap. To me, it's not really fair to fault her for the...crap she went through."

"Seriously? After all the pain she's caused you, you can just forgive her like that?"

His snappy tone took me by surprise. I'm not sure what I expected, but not irritation. "It's not like it was a deliberate move to abandon me myself, at least I know that now. I never got her side of the story before, Ashton. This is all new to me, but this is my older sister. She wants to look out for me."

He scoffed. "Oh, that's nice. She wants to look out for you. You've been doing just fine on your own, Sami."

"Fine? I've been doing 'just fine?' Is this really the best I can be doing for myself at sixteen, Ashton? Working two jobs, failing my favorite classes, missing school, wondering why no one in my family seems to want me?" I reasoned back to him, arguing in a way that I rarely do but emotions were running too high.

"When you put it like that, of course that's not the best thing. I'm just saying, you don't need someone who might walk out again. What's she bringing to the table, really?"