Just The Way You Are: A Ronks Story

One Foot In the Grave

Above: Me and my sister. The opposite of Sirius. Young, healthy, and we love lizards, not puppy-dog eyes.

"Sirius!" demanded Tonks.

"What did I do this time?" asked Sirius.

"Did you tell my mother about me and Remus?"

"Oh, uh..." Sirius avoided Tonks's gaze. "Lovely weather, eh? You know, I think my favorite TV show's on, I simply can't miss it."

"Yeah you can." Tonks grabbed the remote and pressed the OFF button. Sirius groaned. "Why did you have to tell her? How did you think she'd react?"

"Look, Nymph, she deserves to know."

"Does my dad know?"

"Yes. It was just wrong that he did and not her."

"Why would that be wrong?"

"She gave birth to you."

 Tonks was thinking of a comeback, but held her tongue. "Just--" Tonks took a deep breath. "Just stay out of my business from now on, okay?"

"Yes, yes, whatever you say." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Give me the remote."

"No, you've lost TV privileges." Tonks stomped out of the room.

"Aw," whimpered Sirius.

Remus was lying in bed, staring at a spider running across the ceiling. "Suppose it falls on me," mused Remus. "Suppose it bites me, and my life is over. If I knew that I was heading for the last day of my life, what would I do?" Remus continued to think. He knew that he was just thinking to keep his thoughts away from Andromeda's letter. Tonks really did deserve more. More than he could give her. Andromeda was right about one thing.

Rolling over, Remus sighed and faced the wall. Why were things so complicated?

Sneakers ran in, barking at Remus.

"Even Sneakers hates me," said Rmeus gloomily. "It's hopeless."

Richard ran in after Sneakers, barking louder.

"Richard too."

A third dog, this one a Golden Retriever, ran in and barked at him the loudest.

"Random dog too." It took a bit for Remus's words to sink in, before he jumped off the bed. "RANDOM DOG, RANDOM DOG!!!!" he hollered.

Tonks came running. "Oh no!" she skidded to a stop in their room. "I ran out of ice cream."

"Hello? What about this dog barking at me like I'm a giant steak?"

"Oh, a neighborhood stray!" Tonks knelt down to pat the dog on the head. It snarled, and raked a massive paw across Tonks's hand. "Ow!" cried Tonks, jumping away. "That hurt!"

"It's not friendly," observed Remus. "Not at all."

"Can we focus on the fact that I'm bleeding?" Tonks was holding her hand, which was dripping blood. 

Remus jumped off the bed, ignoring the golden retriever, and peeked at Tonks's hand. He couldn't tell where the blood was coming from, as Tonks's whole hand was nearly covered in the red liquid. 

"Ow," sniffled Tonks, trying not to cry. Remus sighed. 

"Wash your  hand off." 

When Tonks's hand was securely covered in bandages, she faced the golden retriever again. "Alright, buddy, this is my town!"

"What?" asked Remus, who, for the safety of his life, was wearing goggles, puffy snow pants and a puffy jacket to  match, and a helmet on top of his sandy mop of hair. Rubber boots went up to his knees. Several copies of the dictionary were stowed under his jacket to protect his chest, in case if the dog somehow tore through the puffy thickness surrounding him.

The dog said something back that Remus swore was "No, this is my town, buddy!"

"Um, what the heck is going on?" asked Remus.

"We're battling for this town. Duh," said Tonks in a whisper louder than an opera singer screams.

Remus held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll watch off to the side." Remus sought refuge inside the closet, where he peeked out at the duel/ creepy staredown.

The dog suddenly gave a bloodcurdling howl, and jumped straight through the window, shattering glass across the floor, causing Tonks to duck for cover under the desk.

"Is it over now?" asked Remus, opening the closet door and cautiously looking around the room for any signs of life other than Tonks. Seeing the broken window, he strode over to it. "Repairo."

"He could have made a good pet," said Tonks sadly. "He was a good dog. And Remus, now you can take off that ridiculous outfit. You're hurting my eyes."

"Oh, you don't like it?" Remus looked hurt. "I really thought it might catch on. You know, The Remus. Eh? Eh?" Remus finished his jazz hands, and still holding them in the air, looked hopefully at Tonks.

"No. The only thing that'll catch on is see-how-hard-you-can-hit-the-idiot-dressed-for-a-pool-noodle-battle-and-knock-him-out. Now, take that off." Tonks pursed her lips, looking at Remus like he was on fire.

Remus sighed and began stripping himself of his armor. "I'll miss this outfit. So, so much."

Tonks burst out laughing. Remus scowled at her.

"What? This isn't funny!"

"Yes it is!" Tonks  was now doubled over laughing. Remus glared at her for a few seconds longer, then his face crinkled into a smile, and he started laughing too, slowly at first, but louder, and finally he was struggling for breath.

That was how Sirius found them. "Hey, um, I don't know what you two are doing, but there's a golden retriever in the kitchen that said something like, 'This is my town, buddy,' and I said, 'No, I'm pretty sure this is my kitchen,' and he said, 'Oh, well then, I'll have to find another town to take over.' Then he winked at me, and sashayed out the door on two paws. What was that about?"

"This is my town!" screeched Tonks. 

"Bye," said Sirius, resolving that he was going crazy, and was going to eventually see chocolate-covered-unicorns. As he wandered back downstairs, Richard and Sneakers met him at the bottom of the stairs, Richard with a ball in his mouth.

"Sorry, guys. I'm too old. Sirius pushed the ball away. Sneakers gave a heart-wrenching whine, and looked up at Sirius with her biggest puppy-dog eyes. "Aw, no fair," protested Sirius. "You have an advantage, all that little-dog cuteness!" 

Richard turned his face up to Sirius too. "Okay, now this is way not fair." Sirius attempted to shield his eyes from the unnerving cuteness unfolding in front of him. 

Sirius gave in once the golden retriever pressed its nose against the glass of the living-room window and gave the Animagus his best puppy-dog eyes. 

"Okay, once, guys. But remember, I've already got one foot in the grave! One foot in the grave, I say!"