Addict- (Zarry)

Chapter 5

Harry

I go out to get a bottle of liquor when I find Zayn sprawled out on the kitchen floor with a tear stained face. He looks so troubled even in his asleep.

He's literally pouting in his sleep and the sight would have been cute if he wasn't frowning or passed out on the cold floor.

I decide to wake him up so he can go to bed.

"Zee," I call to him, shaking his shoulder but he's out cold. He's a heavy sleeper so waking him up while he's drunk is a whole different issue.

I sigh and lift him into my arms.

He clings onto me like I'm his life line.

I walk up to his room and after a few struggles, I manage to open his door. I gently place him onto the bed but he doesn't let go of his hold on me.

"I'm so sorry Harry," he whispers, pulling me closer.

I look at him then remove his arms from around me, making sure I don't wake him up.

He whimpers at the loss of contact and curls into himsel, almost looking almost childlike.

I just stand there for a while, just admiring how pretty he is.

His long lashes are laying across his magnificent cheekbones. His jaw is relaxed but his jaw line still looks sharp as fuck. His pink pouty lips are slightly open as he sleeps quietly, almost as if he's not breathing.

The moonlight streaming though his window creates a beautiful halo on his face,his tan skin shimmering in the dark. It's amazing how sexy he looks even with his hair disheveled and a frown on his face.

He looks like a fucking god.

God just decided to torture us with this one didn't he? I chuckle as I lean down to kiss his forehead.

I leave his room and instead of going to the kitchen to get more alcohol, I head back to my room.

Maybe I should lay off the booze for a while.

Look where it ended me tonight.

I hurt my bestfriend. I shouldn't have called him a monster, hell I shouldn't even have kissed him in the first place.

I should have been looking after him tonight instead of getting drunk and ignoring his existence because I was jealous of the girl he was fucking.

He just wanted to talk to me and I ruined it by acting like a dick.

I knew his weakness and I used it against him for my own selfish reasons. I should have waited for him and made sure he's comfortable enough then had sex with him but I used him knowing he wouldn't deny me once I started kissing him. I'm honestly no better than him in this scenario, we both just used each other.

The first time we have sex after 5 years and this is how it ends up.

I curl up into the blankets and I sob into the pillow.

I feel so disappointed in myself. I know what he did was wrong but he can't help it. It was partially my fault for practically using sex so he wouldn't confront me about my drinking problem and the way I behaved at dinner and how I had recently shut him out.

A strangled sob comes from my chest as I remember how sad he looked when I snapped at him at the dinner table.

I clearly don't deserve to be his boyfriend if I can't even be his bestfriend.

"I'm sorry Zee," I whisper into the darkness." I should have been a better friend."

I cry that night until I fall asleep.