Lost In Paradise (COMPLETED)

LAST CHAPTER

LAST CHAPTER

THE DOCTOR announced that she's dead. I still couldn't accept what he had said. I couldn't even swallow each and every bit of his words. Pakiramdam ko ay pinupunit ang puso ko nang paulit-ulit at tanging magandang ngiti at nakakahalinang tawa lamang ni Monina ang makakapagpabalik sa akin sa realidad.

Everything happened so fast like a flower wilting to die and blooming only when it's already spring.

She was buried in Amaranthine just like what she've told me before. She wanted to die in Amaranthine, in a place where tranquility and freedom lies and where she grew up. I couldn't disappoint her for that, that's the least thing I could do for her.

Pakiramdam ko ay may butas na nabuo sa puso ko habang pinapanood na unti-unting ibinababa ang kabaong ni Monina Lila sa ilalim ng lupa. I couldn't even bring myself to smile nor to show any emotions.

I just feel nothing but an empty shit. I couldn't cry because there were just no tears left to cry anymore. Kahit anong pilit ko ay wala talagang luha ang gustong lumabas hindi katulad noong nasa ospital ako at kasama siya.

I cried non-stop that night thinking that maybe she'll wiped away my tears but nothing happened. There's no Monina Lila who wiped away my tears after I cried until my eyes were already both puffy.

Matapos ang libing niya ay kahit si Jorge hindi ako makausap ng matino. I feel like I'm a living dead. Pakiramdam ko ay isang malaking dagok sa buhay ko ang nangyari. Did the higher up gave her to me so I would feel lonely again?

I kept on questioning myself about something like that, but Jorgensen interrupted my thoughts. Wala akong makitang bahid ng awa sa kan'yang ekspresyon na isang bagay na ipinagpapasalamat ko hindi katulad ng ibang miyembro ng Tribunals.

Yes, they learned about Monina Lila after that night. Peony told them about it. It's not as if it's compulsory for them to know about it since it's a part of my life that I wanted to stay behind the bars but I'm still a little bit grateful that they'd attend to Monina's burial.

"Man, we will be leaving any minute from now," ani Jorge at bahagyang tinapik ang balikat ko bago ako iniwang mag-isa sa loob ng tent.

Nakaayos na ang mga gamit ko at ang mga gamit ni Jorgensen. Today is the day when we will be leaving Amaranthine and go back to the city. May pakiramdam akong gustong manatili at h'wag iwan ang lugar ngunit alam kong hindi 'yon maaari. Yesterday was Monina Lila's birthday and a few days ago is her burial. Instead of celebrating because yesterday should be her special day, it turned out being gloomy, full of tears while finally bringing her home.

It's hard to accept the painful reality and the truth that lies before your eyes. But what can we do anyway? We have no other choice. If you cry, cry it all out in one night and tomorrow you'll arise like nothing happened and you're ready for the new day you're going to face ahead on. Pero kahit anong gawin ko, hindi pala gano'n kadali ang lahat. The thought will stay in your mind until you reached your breaking point again and again.

"Easier said than done," I uttered before pulling myself together and grabbed my things before going out of our tent.

Nang makalabas ako ay nakita ko ang pagkukumpulan ng mga miyembro ng Tribunal habang hawak ang kani-kanilang mga gamit at handa na sa pag-alis. I even saw Peony's stare at me not far from where I am standing. Her eyes held sympathy but I don't need that. I'm fine. I always am.

Nang makita ako ni Jorge ay agad siyang pumasok sa tent at kinuha na rin ang kan'yang mga gamit. Lumapit sa pwesto namin si Peony.

"By the way, what are we going to do in this tent, Peony?" Jorge asked her.