Aliens!?//BILLIE EILISH

Chapter 13

i fill with rage, "get. out." i tell junie with an angry glare. i almost whisper, my voice just loud enough to hear over y/n, "get the fuck out."

y/n pov -⚠️tw: panic attack

i know that this is billie and i know that she has never hurt me, but my body is completely filled with fear. my heart is beating out of my chest as billie sits next to me with her hand on my leg. I keep trying to remove it but she wont budge, and it is just making me more scared.

junie leaves the room and i cry even louder, praying that they take me with them.

"hey, hey, hey," billie says, softly rubbing her thumb on my thigh, "i know you don't like me touching you, but i don't exactly have a choice"

my sobs quiet down, but are just as strong as before. i lose my breath, and i am sucking oxygen in and out of my lungs faster and faster, but nothing is enough. my vision is getting foggy as i watch billie's soft hand on my leg and i slap my hand onto my chest, trying to catch my breath.

"oh shit" i hear from billie in a muffled tone as my hearing begins to fade. a vignette of blackness creeps it's way into my vision, closing in on me. once my vision and hearing is gone, i sit in silence inside my head, but i know my body is still a shaking mess out there. i feel a body grab me and hold me tight. arms are wrapped around me and i feel breath on the back of my neck.

the stimulation begins to pull me out of the darkness and the first thing i feel again is my loss of breath. i am pulled further out of the darkness when billies grabs my hand and places it over her heart. my vision clears and i feel less trapped as i try really hard to copy her breathing. as i finally begin to calm down, billie picks me up and lays me on the bed, knowing how undoubtably tired i am. and she is right.

fear still rages in my chest, but i am too spent to react. it's kind of like when you wake up from an unknown noise at like 3 am and you are really scared, but you're too tired to get up and check it out, so you just hope that no one kills you in your sleep.

billie pov

i look at the poor angel resting on the bed and i can't help but love her. she is so strong, yet so gentle and shy. her breathing is still irregular and shaky, but she is finally asleep and my ears can finally get a rest from the screaming. i really hope that was the end of it and she will wake up just fine.

without losing contact with her shaking body, i lay down under the blankets and pull her into me, hoping she will gain my trust. i am tired after that whole ordeal as well so i leave a small kiss on y/n's forehead and let the darkness take over.

when i wake up, y/n is sitting up and taking deep slow breaths, clearly trying to calm herself. i fear that my input will just make it worse and she seems to have it under control, so i just stay still and watch for a couple of minutes.

y/n looks down at me and meets my eyes with a gasp. she begins to pull away, but i engulf her in my arms and sit up with her, holding her head to my chest. she struggles a little bit, but eventually submits as i play with her hair ever-so-gently.

"can i ask you something? you don't have to answer if you don't want to," i say.

she just nods her head.

"how do you feel right now?" i ask, " i want to help."

"i-i" she takes a deep shaky breath, "i feel-"

i can tell she's getting frustrated, "hey, it's okay. take your time. i am not going anywhere, and most importantly, i am not going to hurt you"

she lets out another breath as i draw circles in her back with my finger, "it's less than be-before, but-but still." that is all i think she can get out right now.

"how can i help?" i ask.

"i was-i was thinking, what i-if you, you kissed me?" she stutters out.

i think for a moment. maybe that would help. but would she actually let me? i wouldn't want it to be not consensual.

"are you sure that is what you want?" i ask, making sure she is okay with it.

"y-yes p-p-please" she takes a deep breath and i continue to rub her back.

i decide to take it slow, as not to startle her, so i gently lift my hand to her cheek. she flinches as i make contact, breaking my heart a little.

"still good?" i ask.

"yes."

i bring my face closer to her and her breath gets caught in her throat. i can't tell if it's fear or excitement. at this point, it's probably fear. our noses touch and she pulls away quickly.

"damn" she lets out angrily.

"it's okay, i won't do it" i assure her.

"no i want you to do it, i'm just scared" she says with annoyance.

"be patient with yourself, y/n," i say, "close your eyes"

she gives me a confused look, "why?"

"just do it, kitten," i say softly.

she closes her eyes, her face contorting a little bit in nervousness. i bring myself slowly towards her again, my hands on both of her cheeks. her breath hitches again and i close the gap between us with a kiss. her previously tense body softens and she hesitantly kisses back. i take my right hand and move it down to her waist pulling our bodies closer as our lips meld together. when we part, she hugs me close and rests her chin on my shoulder, the same way she did the day she asked if i'd ever be with a fan. it must be her mechanism when she's nervous, which makes sense.

i just wrap my arms securely around her body and hold her lovingly and i feel her leave a small lingering kiss on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

a/n:

This book is on pause until someone comments and tells me to update :)