Love Maze ✔

Level-12

Nine

"P'Nine you sure you are not hungry yet?" Joong asked me and I quickly shook my head.

Hungry? Was that even a feeling now. I couldn't eat. The food was choking me. I couldn't eat anything the previous night nor could I eat something in the morning.

The ache in my heart was all that was keeping me busy for now.

"Alright then Phi I'll be leaving. P'Ben will arrive any second and I'm going to confess to Clara today." He said the last part looking at me as if measuring my reaction. Oh my heart please hold yourself a little more.

"Then you should go now you have already helped a lot." I said giving a fake smile. Don't go please.

"Bye P'Nine take care of yourself." He said still looking at me with the same expression as if watching my expression.

"Yes don't worry for me." Take care of me Joong.

He was already walking away. He should go. But my heart was crying telling me to do something stupid to hold him back.

And I did. I knew it was irrational but I couldn't help. I pushed the flower vase to the very end of the counter to let it fall and immediately crouched down to touch the glass and cut my finger, wincing a bit too loud in pain.

And it worked. I was able to get his attention as he came back running, cursing as he saw the broken vase on the floor.

"P'Nine are you okay? What happened?" He asked looking at me for any injury.

"Yes I'm fine just a cut." I replied holding my bleeding finger out.

"Shit P'Nine how can you be so careless? I just left not a second ago and you already injured yourself?" He was scolding me at the same time examining the cut.

"What happened here?" Dome also came out of the kitchen to witness the mess I've made.

"I'm so sorry it just slipped from my hand." I lied. Yes I could do anything at this point to hold him back.

"Let me clean the floor. " Dome said going back to the kitchen to bring the mop and clean the glass, while Joong was already cleaning my wound with the wipes kept in my counter.

Sorry Dome for making you work extra. I mentally apologized to him giving my full focus to the Nong sitting in front of me and treating my wound so carefully.

Why was it so hard for him to always be like this? To always take care of me? Only me? Why couldn't he love me?

I was lost in my thoughts not realising when Joong had finished washing the blood away from my cut and had already put a bandage in my finger. His fingers felt like feathers brushing over my skin ever so lightly.

Dome had also finished his cleaning and was standing behind me watching us.

"P'Nine it is done. Now I need to go or else she might be waiting for me." He said glancing at his watch.

"Yeah don't worry I'll take care of this big baby here. Just go and let your heart out. Best of luck Nong." Dome volunteered.

"Thank you Phi." He said smiling, a big one, a Joong one.

"All the best Joong." I whispered softly but it reached his ears making him smile a even wider one. Stay here Joong. Don't go.

And there again he walked away. His back facing me not witnessing the tears leaving my eyes.

I quickly got up and dashed towards the washroom cutting the confused questions from Dome out.

I could finally break down letting my tears flow however they wished. I wasn't stopping them anymore.
I pulled the small bottle out of my pocket. Sleeping pills. My only reliever.

And swallowed as many as I could. I didn't care about anything anymore because my heart was torn apart from me.

It felt empty there. I clutched my shirt near my chest because of the lightness I was feeling. I was so light. It felt so light. As if something very essential was snatched away from my body. The lightness was strange and very creepy.

"Joong don't break me please." I sobbed hard grabbing the wall with my other hand for support because my legs were becoming weak.

Slowly my entire body started feeling weak and numb including my eyes and I didn't even feel the cold floor hitting my back as I lost my balance.

The voice of someone shouting barely reached my ears but not strong enough to make me recognize the owner of the voice.

My whole body felt warm, a painful burning warmth but my inside felt so cold, so desolate.

It was painful too painful. But the numbness made me relieved.

Probably this was the point.  The point where there were no hopes anymore.

Finally I found a way out of this Love Maze.