Chase You -1- Formula 1

86. The day Lando hijacked a rabbit

This wasn't the first night I would spend by myself after Sophia's death. It was one of the few though. For more than a week, George and I were inseparable. And on most occasions Lando slept in the room next to me -or on my floor with his mattress- Teddy usually claimed the other side of my bed.

The nights I usually spent alone, were the nights after a busy day. The nights where I was tired and I fell asleep once my head hit the pillow. Tonight, that wasn't the case. It was only 9 pm and I got overwhelmed out of nowhere. It started when I was watching a Netflix series to waste some time, but then a dead person wrote a letter to someone they loved. That kind of threw me off, I wished Sophia would've done the same. The last few hours with her were peaceful, but I felt like she had much more to share. There had to be something more.

Remembering her didn't do her enough justice. I never found out how she truly felt, even though she had an outspoken opinion. I'd never find out the reasoning behind her words. All I wanted was just one new thing of her, another memory, a long lost photograph, a drawing even. A stupid series shouldn't have upset me so much, yet it did.

It made me feel lonely. Something I never really experienced before. I always had my mother near, except for now. Good friends surrounding me too, however, Sabrina was in London and I would never let the guys see me cry. Lando being the exception, of course. On an evening like this, I kinda realised I fucked up many of my relationships, platonic or not. I neglected everyone to have a messy summer when I should've been there for them. Not just the summer, now that I think about it. Once I signed for a seat in Formula 1, I started hanging out with my non-racing related friends less and less. I wasn't even sure if I had them anymore, yes, a couple of texts, but does that mean we were still friends?

I had turned off my tv. The constant reminded other people had more memories of their loved ones made me a bit angry, to say at least. Perhaps I was acting unreasonably now, I didn't really feel a lot after my sister's passing and now out of nowhere, I had no clue what to do anymore.

So, when I dialled Lando's number, I didn't think about it at all.

"I knew it," he said when he answered the phone. I just kept silent. All I wanted was to hear his voice, it calmed me down a little. "So, what's the matter sunshine?"

"I want you," I said, "to come over." That final addition changed the meaning quite a bit, I didn't want him to assume something untrue. "Only if you have time, of course. In that case sorry for bothering you."

"If I even had plans they'd be cancelled now," Lando chuckled slightly. "I'm on my way, give me five minutes, alright?" I hummed something that indicated a yes.

He hung up the phone and left me waiting in anticipation. Five minutes, that's nothing. Yet those minutes felt like hours. I kept snapping my head at the clock, with a bouncing leg and lots of regrets I waited for time to pass by. The second Lando hung up the phone I already knew I had to put in the effort to form a conversation and I had no idea what to talk about. I just wanted to relax and not be alone, he happened to be on speed dial, he would never leave that place.

Five minutes passed by once I heard knocking on the door. I peered through the peephole before opening the door for Lando. He showed up with a sports bag, the strap hung over his shoulder, and stepped inside before I could say hi or invite him in.

"Have you eaten anything?" Lando asked, zipping his bag open as he looked me in my eyes.

"I wasn't in the mood to cook," I admitted. "I'm not hungry enough for takeout either." I hid my hands in my sleeves, crossing my arms. "Do you want to sit or something? I don't really mind, your presence is enough. You can seriously just go to sleep here, I literally couldn't care less." A few cracks in my voice kind of caught me off guard, it seemed to confuse Lando too. I decided to stop talking as I felt tears welling up.