Chase You -1- Formula 1

111. An invasion of privacy

It was two weeks between the US Grand Prix and the penultimate race of the season in Brazil. Luckily, because I really needed the time to get my shit together. Most of my races were incredibly disappointing for both myself and the team. I couldn't be more than grateful that I already signed for next season, as with my current performance, my future would not be guaranteed.

Not announcing my contract got harder each day. I imagined it would be a lot easier to just tell the media I had a car in 2020, and get over with the annoying questions. The articles people wrote about me started to get on my nerves. There was this one article where some guy fully explained my downfall, with a great list of arguments on why it was better for me to take a year off, stay as a test driver, and race in a different league. It wasn't even hard to find a reason for it, as the explanations were logical.

All I wanted was to get away from racing for a short while, focus on my mental health and then come back stronger, but winter break was not as close as I hoped. Less than a month, by now, but I needed to go home and see my dog. While most of my friends stayed in the Americas, somewhere, I flew to England and slept comfortably in my own bed, something that eased most of my nerves. Lando travelled with me to the other side of the world, which I considered being quite nice of him, and totally unnecessary. Although it did mean my breakfast was made fresh right when I got out of my bed, and I didn't have to do anything that even brought the slightest bit of discomfort. I managed quite well for the past few days, I slept better and I wasn't as tired as I used to be.

I went downstairs after a brief morning shower, and an ashy smell lead me to the kitchen, where Teddy and Lando stood, staring at a plate on the countertop.

"I burned something," Lando said, his hands on his hips and he didn't even pass me a glance. "I burned your breakfast."

"Oh." I sat on one of the stools at the kitchen isle and my eyes landed on my diary on the surface, flipped over at one of the more recent pages. I raised my brows at the sight of it but then turned attention to Lando, who hadn't moved a spot since I entered the kitchen. He seemed tense as if expecting me to scold him for not being careful. "It's okay, really. I can eat yoghurt or something. We still have blueberries somewhere."

"Yeah, no, it's not okay," Lando grumbled, taking the plate off the countertop. I watched closely, noticing the look of concern etched onto his face. I didn't understand why he cared so much. "My ego is crushed, Daisy." His comment was meant to make a joke, yet the pain was clearly evident in his voice. He looked defeated. "I can't believe I did this wrong... What kind of boyfriend am I?"

"Well, don't let the disappointment get you down. You tried your best." I shrugged, trying not to seem annoyed at his behaviour. The clock hadn't even ticked 10 am yet and he already upset himself. "Don't worry about it. You're going to be fine."

Lando stared intensely at the plate for a little longer until he finally nodded. "You won't leave me because I ruined your breakfast, will you, Daisy?"

"No, silly." I laughed softly. "Why would I?"

"I mean, considering you have your doubts about your future and about me."

"I do not have doubts about you," I frowned, slightly taken aback at his sudden change in attitude. "Are you really thinking that badly about yourself?"

He shook his head. "Never. That's not what I meant. I was just saying it'd be nice if it weren't for me ruining your life."

"Excuse me?" I asked, quite offended.

"Yes, excuse you!" He said raising his voice. He shoved my diary in my direction, a certain passage underlined with a sparkly gel pen. "Tell me, do I fit in this future of yours? You know, the one you want to have, the one you have worked years for?" I grabbed the book from his hand, glancing through the page as I held onto it tightly. I was completely silent as my anger rose within me. When Lando finally spoke I didn't miss the slight tremble on his lips as he waited for my response. "Daisy, it's more than six weeks since you've received this news. Six. Weeks. You signed that contract and you did not tell me?"