Peter Breaks the Cranky Meter

1.3K 60 99
                                    

PETER PARKER: guys do you want to watch TV on our phones?

STEVE ROGERS: how does that work?

PETER PARKER: there's this app you download called VidBingeWatch where you can video call with anyone and watch tv together on your phone

TONY STARK: aight lets do it

STEVE ROGERS: I have to download something? Is it safe?

PETER PARKER: yes it's safe. And before you ask, go to the App Store

STEVE ROGERS: Tony, is it safe?

PETER PARKER: yOu doNt TruSt mE?!

TONY STARK: it's safe, cap

STEVE ROGERS: k

PETER PARKER: 😤


TONY STARK: alright, everyone connected?

THOR: yea

NATASHA ROMANOFF: yes

SHURI: ready to go

STEVE: Yep

PETER PARKER: ok what channel should we go to

SHURI: idk

PETER PARKER: I'll test them out, see what's on

(TV: Hi, my name is Cami and I'm a mother of two and a half girls, and I've created...)

PETER PARKER: two and a HALF..?

LOKI: what?

PETER PARKER: you have half a daughter?!

TONY STARK: 🙄

PETER PARKER: OH NO, NO SHE MEANS SHES PREGNANT 😂 😂

SHURI: 😂 😆

PETER PARKER: I thought... 😂 😝 I wasn't paying attention I just heard that she's got two and a half children 🤣 😆

STEVE ROGERS: 😐

PETER PARKER: I was like, WHAT? WHERES THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR DAUGHTER?!

STEVE ROGERS: oh my gosh 🤦‍♂️

PETER PARKER: ok, no she's pregnant I get it. She's pregnant with one ok

TONY STARK: yes, peter...




PETER PARKER: okay guys. I asked my teacher why girls can't wear ripped jeans in school

JAMES RHODES: I don't like where this is going

PETER PARKER: and she said: because it's sexually distracting to students. HMMM?

PETER PARKER: WHO THE HECK IS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO LITERAL KNEE CAPS?! LMAO. WHO?

THOR: 😂

PETER PARKER: like who do you know goes: DANG BABY LOOK AT THOSE CUTE KNEE CAPS 😆 🤣

JAMES RHODES: PFFT 😂

STEVE ROGERS: 😂 🤦‍♂️



SHURI: wait, Loki, how old are you

LOKI: 1,054

SHURI: ReALLy?! That old?! Huh!

PETER PARKER: 🤣

SHURI: and you're not married yet?! 😂

PETER PARKER: PFFFAAHAAHAHAHA

SHURI: HoW?! how are you not married yet!

LOKI: 😑

PETER PARKER: you just haven't found the right one, right?

SHURI: or they haven't found you 😂 😂

LOKI: shut up

SHURI: 🤣 😆

LOKI: you really can't think of one thing you like about me, can you

SHURI: I like when you're sad 🥺

PETER PARKER: BAHAHAHAHA

PETER PARKER: HEY! LOKI JUST DESTROYED MY JUICEBOX!

LOKI: sorry heh heh I smashed the wrong thing

PETER PARKER: NO! 1,054 YEARS AGO, YOUR MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO THE WRONG THING!

TONY STARK: PETER PARKER!

STEVE ROGERS: LANGUAGE, KID!

SAM WILSON: I told you he gets cranky without his juicebox..

𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐭 || post endgameWhere stories live. Discover now